Cigarettes and Tea

2010-03-29T01:52:00.001-07:00

Brokened

2010-03-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

My mother called this evening and asked me how I was.
Wanted to tell her but I guess somethings are better left unsaid.1 heartbreak is enough.

2010-02-06T08:54:00.001-08:00

this evening on the bus,i thought of writing bad about a certain topic but i later changed my mind.i just like to say please dont ask my family members to help you anymore.in fact,even if one of them volunters to help,please dont accept.dont end up owing us more and more.they are just being helpful.please also think that some of us don't have transport and its very inconvenient to travel to and fro.they are also not very young and are actually quite aged.please decline help from them on this account.
they are leaving their immediate family to go all out to help.i dont think thats necessary.you have other people whom im sure will be more able to help you.please dont inconvenient us anymore.as far as im concern we are not related.please leave my family alone.dont bother us anymore if you can help it.and you can.
please have pity on my mother.shes not young anymore.please decline her to travel so far just to help you.
shes just being kind and because she thinks we owe you for somethings you did for us.but i dont know if she knows what really happened.and even if she knew,i know my mother will still continue to render help out of the goodness of her heart.but please dont accept.please dont.

Pig's heads -- considered unclean by Muslims -- were dumped at two mosques in the latest incident on Wednesday.

2010-01-29T08:53:00.000-08:00

Pig's heads -- considered unclean by Muslims -- were dumped at two mosques in the latest incident on Wednesday.

I hear pig's head are extremely great for making soup stock.
Such a waste of food.

There are some people in the world(re:in Haiti) who are starving and here there are people who don't think twice about flinging food around places of worship.

I say catch all these juvenile rowdies and fling them into jail!

Malaysian Muslim leaders call for racial harmony

2010-01-13T06:06:00.000-08:00

"All cabinet ministers, meanwhile, have been told to stop commenting on the issue in a bid to ease tensions." - CNA/vm

And this is going to solve the matter, how?

Catch a few of those troubler makers charge and throw them in jail as an example to the masses.

Show people that it does not matter what places of "interest" they destroy. As long as it is a private property and they pose a threat to public safety, the Government will not tolerate such acts of hooliganism.

Being disgruntled over this "Allah" issue is one thing.
Acting like a small-time Terrorist is another.

Do not tell me the Malaysian Government cannot trace the culprits.

They found Mas Selamat for us, whats a few petty arsonists?

Malaysia backs 'Allah' ruling as 9th church hit

2010-01-11T09:01:00.000-08:00

Malaysia backs 'Allah' ruling as 9th church hit

This is like dejavu, a repeat episode of the time some people kicked and stomped on a cow's head in front of a Hindu temple just because it was located in the "wrong" place.

And it is utterly embarrassing for the Government to sit by and look.

It is examples like these that makes me thankful to God or Allah(correct me if I am wrong)that I live in Singapore.

God by any other word is still God.

It is not like people are blaspheming or poking fun(making doodles and cartoons) of the word.

On contrary, they are promoting faith.

Afraid that Muslims may get confused and wander into a church because they heard the word "Allah" being mentioned inside?

Do not tell me they cannot differentiate between a cross and a dome?

Perhaps there may be some unique cases. We cannot discount that.

Maybe Christians who hear the word may also wander into a mosque.
The chances of which is higher.
Every Malaysian knows the "waktu" because the various mosque will herald it very loudly.
The word "Allah" is mentioned a gazillion times during those events.

Perhaps the Catholics(and Christians) should stop using the word altogether.
If it is going to cause so much grief.

Now the churches, next?
Christian homes?
Let's not wait until it escalates into that.

So much more sin will be commited.
All because of the name of "Allah".
Which will be the biggest irony.

We watch from across the causeway and we feel sympathy for the people.
For the lack of protection some parts of the society gravely needs.
And for the lack of guidance the Government is supposed to give.

The creation of this issue was by the ruling party but that does not mean it should give carte blanche to such acts.

This is a public safety issue.

Justice is and should be blind to all race, religion and creed.
Sympathy should only be given to people who truly deserve it.

God is great.
Allāhu Akbar
Correct me if I'm wrong.

Friday Afternoon along a pair of narrow roads near a mosque

2010-01-01T05:32:00.000-08:00

Who says we cannot park vehicles 9 metres from a bus stop?

Who says we cannot park along unbroken double yellow lines?

This happens every Friday.

Not that I am complaining.

Obstruction of vehicles and jams, we tolerate because it is a once a week occurence.

Now my gripe is.

Every Sunday, some Singaporeans also go to some other religious places to pray.
They also have a lack of parking space.

HOWEVER, some of these people have been summoned.
Given parking tickets.
And the religious organisations given warnings to tell their worshipers to "please adhere to traffic rules and regulations" and to "not cause traffic jams and obstructions".

Other religious organisations have also been given "ample" warnings of the same.

There is a temple and a church in the St Michael's area who have even agreed to lend each other parking space whenever one party needs, just so their worshipers do not get into trouble with the law.

This is a MULTI-RACIAL country.
And if so, everything should be equal.

If you want to give leeway to some, you have to give leeway to others.

It's that "time" of the year again...

2009-12-24T00:59:00.000-08:00

Short of Vesak day and Deepavali...they celebrate every other god damn festival.

2009-12-11T20:20:00.000-08:00

Talking to myself and feeling old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hanging around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothing is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walking around, some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hanging around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

You And Me Song - The Wannadies

2009-12-10T07:15:00.000-08:00

Always when we fight
I try to make you laugh
Til everything's forgotten
I know you hate that

Always when we fight
I kiss you once or twice
And everything's forgotten
I know you hate that

I love you Sunday sun
The week's not yet begun
And everything is quiet
And it's always...

You and me always, and forever
It was always
You and me always..

You tell me I'm a real (wo)man
and try to look impressed
Not very convincing
But you know I love it

Now we watch TV
Til we fall asleep
Not very exciting
But it's you and...

Me and we'll always be together
You and me always, and forever

Momma said there'll be days like this...

2009-12-07T07:26:00.000-08:00

Today should go down in the annals of history as the worst day of my life!

1) Went to the toilet and did not notice anything amiss, except that I was alone.
After I did my business and was just about to open the door to step out of the cubicle, I heard the familiar sound of one of the automated taps go on.

It is amazing how fast a human brain works and conjures up questions.

"What sound is that?"
"The sound of the tap going on."
"I didn't hear anyone coming in the toilet."
"I didn't hear anyone come out of the cubicle and even then how was that to be? I am the only one in the room."

All these in a nanosecond as I concurrently opened the door.
I stepped out and instinctly turned to look to the left where the taps were, half expectantly to see someone washing their hands or something.
And there was no one in sight.
Just then I saw the tap go on by itself.

How was that possible? I heard the sound of the "tick" and water gushing outside when I was in the cubicle.

I stood at the door of the cubicle for a milisecond and it dawned on me that something was not all right.

I walked past the taps(water was still gushing out from the right hand corner wash basin) slowly, opened the door calmly and left.

2) Back in the office and trying to forget the toilet incident, my colleague intercoms me.

"Hi J, just wondering what happened to all your files in your shared folder?"
"Oh I transferred them all back to the common folder"
"Oh ok...but why are there only files starting with 'L', where are the files from 'A' to 'K'?"

Panic.

Had to call the IT people because it turns out, I had only managed to transfer files starting with 'L' all the rest were not sucessful.
I did not know that and had deleted the rest of the files.

All information that was deleted. The IT people are as I speak, trying their best to recover from back-up. I hope all is well.
Otherwise...

3) Went out shopping and came back with only 1 pair of shoes.
Tragic!

4) Went downstairs to get food and while walking, a strange woman stopped me in my tracks and spoke in mandarin about how someone asked her to get something from the dustbin.

a) I don't know how to communicate 2 ways in mandarin very well

b) I don't give a rat's leg about her problem. Really.

But try as I might, I just could not walk away from her. She would talk loudly in mandarin and block my way.

I got fed-up and slinked forcefully by her.

She took her broom and tried to block me and in that process brushed it on my right hand.

That was it.

Shit hit the fan.

I bellowed at her to "stop it! and let me go!! WAHLAO!"

That kind of shocked her and she slithered away.

The ruckus caught the attention of a malay lady and she just shook her head at me in pity.

When I got home. I realised I forgot to buy cigarettes.

Had to go back down and while I was downstairs people kept on getting in my way.

The Nets machine took hell of a long time approving my payment for the cigarettes.

I am just glad the day is almost over.

2009-12-05T22:36:00.001-08:00

Take the shackles off my feet so I can dance...

2009-11-28T01:11:00.000-08:00

why is it so difficult for us to accept our loved ones?

Isn't that the most ironic?

That the ones we love to pinpoint and nitpick are the ones we love the most?

Wedding in Bad Taste

2009-11-15T07:30:00.000-08:00

Super Hero Wedding

Call me a stiff, I don't care.

But I think now a days people treat weddings like a piece of joke.
With such attitudes, it is no wonder the divorce rates are 50-50.

Yes, it should be a happy occasion but really there is a difference between funny and immaturity.

MOM urges firms to outsource based on quality, not just price

2009-11-02T07:56:00.000-08:00

MOM urges firms to outsource based on quality, not just price

Well, the Ministry should be talking.

Try calling their hotline for some work pass related queries and you'll see what sort of quality they are talking about.

Try using their EPOnline and see what sort of price they must be paying for that fantastic system.

So yes, the Ministry SHOULD be talking.

I Procrastinate

2009-11-01T08:43:00.000-08:00

too much...

It has been 3 weeks since I already decided what to buy for T.

A freakin tricyle. I even know where and when to go and buy the dumb 3 wheeled mechanism.

What have I really done so far?
'Cept for running through the internet looking at wheels and locating the nearest Little Tike distributor in Singapore.

I have done nothing else but delay dally on when I actually get my lazy bum out of the house and to the store.

Heck! I even have a sweet soul who is willing to ferry me and the toy to wherever my heart desires.

Today there was further improvement.
I actually called up the store and asked if they had stock on that particular model.
And thank god, they do.

So I have to.
Really have to.
Buy it.
Otherwise, I am finished.

2009-10-30T07:51:00.000-07:00

it is getting crazier and crazier...

2009-10-27T08:11:00.001-07:00

in a span of 2 months, I have changed

How do you know

2009-10-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

if it is finally over?

Go out with him or her.

And honestly acknowledge your feelings.

That was what I did this evening.

I went out for dinner at Samy's Curry at Demsey with him.

I did not have the usual "butterflies in my tummy" sensation before I met him.
In fact, I was feeling kind of listless and glum.

When we hung out, there were more silence than any kind of meaningless conversations.
I guess there was just nothing much to say or talk about.
Most of the time, I was staring out the car window or looking disinterested.
I did try, I tried for 2 whole years.

Today was the day I realized it was never going to work out from the beginning.
I looked at him a couple of times and felt bewildered as to how I could have adored such a face all this while. It was verging on nauseating disgust.

Today he looked like any normal man.
Not the demigod I always thought of.

Today he was not intelligent.
I used to think of him as the wittiest gift god decided to bestow upon mankind.

Today he tried to hug me and hold my hand.
I never felt so cold and dead.

Today as I walked out of his car to go home.
There was no goodbye kiss.
I didn't even look at him as I got out.
Just said goodbye, left and never looked back.

And this is how I knew I was over him.

2009-10-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

Do you like your government?

Most of the time, people are going to answer the negative.

Me included.

"And recently there was this university forum? and apparently the students were not allowed to direct their own questions to the MM. They were given a set of questions to ask instead...like wahlao!"

and?
Because of that he is a bad person.

I don't like the system. But hey, take a step back and breathe.

If it weren't for them or him for that matter.
I won't have the opportunity to bitch about the government on the internet.
I won't have the luxury of walking downstairs at 4 in the morning, armed with only a wallet and a mobile phone just because I am craving for burgers at the local 24 hr mcdonald's joint.
I won't have so much that I should be thankful for.

What is there to bitch about exactly?

We are not prominant opposition party members vying for votes.
We are the common people.
We eat each day, we drink each day, we work each day.
In short, we live by each day.

We pay all sorts of taxes.
Well, so do citizens in other countries.
Do you know how much VAT the citizens of UK pay?
Or how much of a percentage of their salaries do they pay for income tax?
Don't know?

Go and find out before you bitch about the high cost of living in Singapore.

ERP?
Don't travel to work in your personal cars then...
Take the public transport.
Complain the public transportation is so often than not crowded, smelly and just simply uncomparable to say driving your Honda Fit to and fro work?

Have you seen what people in other countries go through each day just to commute from home to work?

Are we the new "poor"?
Exactly what defines poor?
If we compare ourselves to the standards of the world.
Please be reminded, we are far from that standard definition.

Of course there are really poor people in Singapore but think about honestly.
Do we the general common people think about them?
How many of us really donate to these people?
The President Star Charity show is every year.
Do you watch it?
Let's not even talk about calling their hotlines.
Simple to say, we just assume the Government takes care of them.
And whether they do or they don't, not many of us really give a damn.
Because we are too busy lamenting on the high Goods and Services Tax rates.
Because we are too engrossed in looking at our credit card bills and how best to settle them.
Because we are too busy getting up each day lamenting on our pathetic poor lives while on the way to work.
And how the government WON'T LIFT A FINGER TO HELP US.

We are a bunch of really unhappy people.
We are dissatisfied with our dirty floor to floor lifts.
We are angry our buses and trains are crowded and are 5 to 10 minutes not on schedule.
We are frustrated when filing our taxes online and the connection to the website is slow and unsteady.
We grouse because what little is returned to us to offset the taxes is simply not enough to even cover the tax incurred when we buy our branded goods.

So exactly, where do the students in the forum start when they want to think about what dirty little questions to ask the MM in the forum?

Nowhere.

Because face it.
They are university students.
Barely able to say they seen life at all.
What income tax?
Most of them still live under the roofs and payrolls of their parents.
And some may even be able to say they live privilaged lives.
They may have never even taken public transport.
Never been to a real job. Internship does not count.
Never had to think of where to get their next meals should they lose an internship opportunity.

So maybe they had no choice. They had other people think up intelligent questions fo them to ask.

Let's not even talk about young people.
Let's talk about the people in the generation Y and Z catagories.
People like me.

I had never lived through any world war.
I don't even know what a bomb exploding sounds like.
People say it sounds like fireworks.
How can I relate something so beautiful to something so destructive?

I didn't have to walk miles across town just to go to school.
I didn't have a privilaged life but I certainly did not go without.
I went through formal education and beyond.
And most of my Singaporean peers did to.

My peers and I live in respective housing.
Maybe not Sentosa Cove kind of standard but I knew that I had a safe and warm house to return from wherever.

I am female.
I am given (maybe not so) equal opportunities.
But I have a job that pays my bills every month.
A job in a cushy air-conditioned office.
Sure, it is nothing to brag about.
Because you know why?
A majority of us Singaporeans have this sort of life.

We have never had to go through the sufferings of an occupation.
We never had to forage for food.
Sure, it can be better. And it should.
Improvement is always welcome.

Yes, this is a dynasty of some sort.
The country is run by a small group of family and friends.
But is it really a bad thing?

If we cannot be totally thankful for the littlest things because we have grown so accustomed to it as "normal", then let's pause for a moment and at least be grateful.

The man may not have been perfect.
Alot of people dislike him.
But let us not deny that he had a major role to what Singapore is.
And let's just be grateful.

The Person who...

2009-10-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

said not to settle, was either living a semi-charmed kind of life or simply deluded.

How can people not settle when alot of times, life deals us unexpected circumstances.

The dream job you always wanted, you are just not qualified for it.
So you take on something else you are more suitable. You settle.
Either that or you keep chasing your dream, ending up broke and bitter.
When you can take the "settled" business and turn it to something much better than imagined.

The love of your life, he or she just don't feel the same way as you do.
So you choose to be with someone else. You settle.
Either that or you continue chasing the love of your life, ending up rejected time and time again and bitter.
When you can take the "settled" relationship and turn it to something much better than imagined.

Does it all make sense?
Does that mean you are selling out your dreams and aspiration when you "settle"?

When do we stop being idealistic about life?

I think I am stopping idealism and really starting to live life.

Ironically, I have decided to settle.
The heart that is not open is stubborn and detrimental.

If I can open my heart and eyes.
If I can change the way I feel and think.
I believe my life will be different and better.

The world contains far greater things than to mourn over a relationship that was doomed from the very beginning.

A man so opportunistic, he would take anything anyone dishes out to him, just because it is free.

And a girl who had only just begun to learn to love with all her heart.

He took her heart because it was free.
And she gave it to him because she had so much love to give.

When eventually all good things must come reciprocated.
He turned around and decided he could not return and left.

And so the girl was left for dead for awhile.
Till she decided to live.

And I will.

I just want to be happy, you know?

2009-10-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

So the oddfellas are back in town.

I think they kind of feel uninvited.

It is hard to deal with a parent who waltz in and out of your life, everytime he deems fit.

Most of the time, I wish of days when I can finally be rid of his company.
Of finally having a house of my own and leaving this to history.

It has come to a point when I don't deal very well with family ties.
To me, I only have 2 relatives. My mother and brother.
That is enough.

I read somewhere a quote that went "In life, you just need one bloody good friend."
I guess it applies to relatives as well.
You don't need to have throngs of people come to your house every other festive season.
Most of the time, they aren't even sincere about coming.
Just a handful of people you know who truly want to be with you.
That is enough.

I have come to a stage whence I would really like to trash alot of things in my life to history.

I have dumped several friends and acquaintences to history of late.

Some of them, I have known for years and had considered them dear friends.
One of them, I had loved very much with all my heart.

So much so, I made up all sorts of excuses for all their short-comings.

One fine day, I realized.
I realized that I wasn't being nice or accomodating.
I was being taken advantaged of.
I was being made a fool.
And that is really not the definition of friendship, much less love.

The epiphanic stage of my life and I believe for alot of other people is when you realize, you rather be alone than be in the company of strangers.

I know I am not happy.
But I rather be unhappy than be unhappy and hurt.

I am recovering.
From all the lies and deceit.
From all the hurt that I had to endure.

I know I can rise above this unhappiness.
This caused by having to live knowing that I have knowledge and sight of these people.
I can do this.

Survival of the fittest is not by the scheme but by the plan

DVD/VCD

2009-10-06T07:44:00.000-07:00

Been utilizing the newest blings in my room these few days.

Fireball Muay Thai Dunk

Actually I was attracted to it because of the lead actor(Preeti Barameeanant from the Thai band "Clash")

Not a bad production.
Nice change from the usual "eat pop-corn and scream your lungs out" Thai horror movies.

Simple predictable storyline of hero avenging brother in comatose in hospital from a gang fight.

Basketball game mixed with Muay Thai martial arts incorporated into one.
Fight till you die or till one team scores a ball in the basket. Simple as that.

Over the Hedge

Raccoon steals food stuff from bear.
Bear catches him.
Threatens to kill him unless he replenishes food.
Raccoon meets a bunch of other naive animals.
Raccoon psychos them to go "over the hedge"(a human populated neighbourhood) to steal food.
Naive animals get caught.
Raccoon feels bad.
Raccoon saves them and becomes a hero over night.
As simple as that.

Then I watched some random Thai movie about a robin hood like cowboy who helps other cowboys keep their cows from a gang of cow stealers who are employed by this weird ass guy who wants all the cows to disappear so that he can market his automated plower to the farmers.
Very strange movie.
Did not even catch it's title.

He's Just Not That Into You

Not even worth wasting time on.
This movie is crap in its epitome.
I thought the book(of the same title sucked). The movie cannot be redeemed.

The movie is basically teaching you signs and hints of when a man is not that interested.

And when he shows signs of being not interested.
The girl in question is NOT suppose to think other wise.
Or make up excuses as to why he is behaving like that.
That is the "rule"

Ok, that kind of make sense because we all know hell the only reason why men behave badly is because most women allow them to be and make excuses for them.

So OK stop if you are doing it.

But then along the way, there are the "exceptions".

"Exceptions" happen when the woman chase the man hard enough.
Eventually some men cave in and become normal human beings.

Thats when I thought ok. Lets not mislead people anymore.
If the guy isn't interested. Leave him alone.
You can chase him hard enough, you can make enough excuses.
But there is an "enough is enough".

And yours truly has every right to say this because she has gone through all that crap and isn't going to take an inch more.

So this movie is crap.

Disney would have been more realistic.

Enough said.

The Uninvited

Ailing mother dies in the boathouse in a horrific fire accident.
Daughter ends up in a sanitarium and is released because doctor thinks shes overcome her mental problems.

Daughter goes home to find that father is shagging her late mother's nurse.

Daughter is very unhappy.

Gangs up with elder sister to find out who exactly nurse is.

Finds out that nurse is not listed in the well.."Nurse Association" and her driver's license is not in her real name.

Both daughters decide that maybe nurse is a psycho at large who killed 2 children she was looking after.

Father goes off on a business trip.

Daughters confront father's nurse girlfriend.
They become an unfriendly group of people.

Elder daughter eventually kills nurse.

Father arrives.

Younger daughter explains to father that nurse is not all that she claims to be and that they found out and elder daughter killed her.

Father is bewildered and the more younger daughter is telling him the story, he gets more frustrated and tells her that elder daughter was killed along with her mother in the fire.

Younger daughter gets confused and then slowly realises and remembers the fire incident.

She was the one who caused the accident and killed both her mother and sister, while in rage after seeing their father shagging the nurse.

Younger daughter ends up in the sanitarium again.
And the psycho nurse she thought her father's girlfriend was.
Is her ward neighbour, she used to hang out.

And so...

2009-10-04T06:15:00.000-07:00

my paternal cousins, the few remaining single ones are getting married.

Two siblings, one getting married year-end and another, sometime next year.

Which leaves my brother(who technically is out of the race, since he was considered married a couple of years back) and two other younger cousins(who I hope God almighty, don't decide to get married anytime this century).

I dread attending weddings only to have friends and family giving me that "look".
That "I hope she isn't still lesbian, is she?" look or that "Why doesn't a normal looking girl like her even have a boyfriend...she isn't still lesbian, is she"look.

Truth to be told, I don't have a boyfriend and I am not lesbian(anymore!).

I just...don't think of marriage.
Maybe I have a bad impression of the whole concept.
What with what I get to see and learn.
No, I don't think I ever had good mentors when it came to "Marriage 101".

Yes, it would be nice to find someone who shares your aspirations, your thoughts and your deeds and...blah blah blah...

But to me marriage is

1) a burden

2) comes with children(extra burden)

3) trap(sometimes booby)

4) expensive(going in, while in it and getting out)

I mean the whole damn thing is a liability.

Why do people want to get married?

Maybe it is like buying a vehicle.
I am just not at that stage where an MPV is an option.
I find driving a mini van lookalike, something verging on embarassing.
I did get over the "2 seater" stage.

I need the freedom to drop everything, take a 2 week break from work and go on a holiday unannounced.

I value my personal space very much.
Perhaps this is due to my upbringing(or the lack of it).
I lived a relatively singular life from a tender age of 12.
I never had to report my movements/actions to my parents or anybody.
Never knew what the word "grounded" was.
I had my own set of house keys, I came and went as I fancied.
Never had to share my room or bed with anyone except my pets.

To put myself through something like that would be considered something nightmarish.
To have to adapt and co-exist with someone elses' lifestyle and habits would be daunting even suicidal.

That is why I am bewildered as to why people choose to get married.

Why can't we just hang out for abit and then part ways cordially?
You to your own house and me to mine?
Maybe we can hang out at each others' abode but let's keep it at a maximum of 3 days at a stretch?
Do we really need to live with each other?

And what is with this "children" thing?
We can borrow some kid from some random relative for a day or two and play with it.
Do we really need something of our own?
I've got pets? What is the difference?

I really cannot think of any push factor towards marriage.
Apologetic.
I usually am able to easily find excuses for lesser things.

I wish...

2009-10-03T07:22:00.000-07:00

you wouldn't be coming back tomorrow or forever.

I wish you won't disrupt our peaceful lives anymore.

Please just don't come back.

We did not miss you and never will.

2009-10-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

"My father is a weird character from a book that nobody ever reads..."

For those of you...

2009-10-03T05:27:00.001-07:00

who complain and whine all day about the woes of living in Singapore.

Please switch on the TV or read the news about our neighbours and count your lucky stars.

You don't have to sympathize or feel pity for the citizens, just count your lucky stars.

You remember...

2009-10-01T06:30:00.000-07:00

you mentioned to me one of your friends saw your daughter with a middle-eastern looking guy and you weren't too happy about it?

You remember I told you not to worry about her as she knows what shes doing and that I am pretty sure she only treats that guy as a friend?
And that I had most probably seen that guy in one of her photos?

Do you remember all that?

Did you believe me one bit?
What did you tell me?
You told me you had faith in your daughter and that she does know what she is doing.
Did you really mean what you say?
If so, you wouldn't even have told me in the first place.

Now do you believe me?

Do you even remember our conversation?
It does not matter because I do.

And now there is something called "Karma".

Do you look at her photos now and think she has made a wrong choice?
Do you think she really knows what she is doing?
Well at least you know she ain't doin' the middle-eastern guy or any guy for that matter.

"Karma" has a simple rule of thumb.
The world is round.
What you do unto others eventually rounds the corner and hits you back in the face.

Tell me, how does it feel like, really.
To see your kid and think "god almighty! why is this happening? and where did I go wrong?"

Ask yourself where you went wrong.

Do you think your child has been misled?
Do you think she has been wrongfully influenced into such a lifestyle?
Do you think this whole crap is wrong and unnatural?
Do you think this person hoodwinked your daughter into such a relationship?

What do you think my family will think if they knew what happened between us?

Will they think I was misled?
Will they think I had been wrongfully influenced into such a lifestyle?
Will they think this whole crap is wrong and unnatural?
Will they think you hoodwinked me into such a relationship?

And this my "sentimental friend" is what you call "Karma".

Tell Me...

2009-09-29T09:50:00.000-07:00

If you broken up with someone, would you still want to linger around the person's life?

Maybe given a couple of weeks, months or years. After you can bravely say you don't feel anything else but platonic emotions.

But will you actually still go to his or her house(if you had the access) to say, clean up after them...secretly?

My brother recently ended things with his live-in girlfriend of three years.
I don't know about the whys and the hows or even the whens.
But one day I came back and didn't see her for a few days and when I casually asked my brother. He just said "she left, long story."

So I didn't probe and we continued on with our lives.

Sometimes when I come back from work, I'll see my clothes nicely folded and laid out on my bed.
Or the house is clean and not usually filled with pee and poo from the pets.

2 days in a row this week, the house was clean when I got home.

This evening I asked my brother if he had been cleaning the cat litter and he replied the negative(with a strange look on his face).

It is not like I am an ungrateful crap-head.
I should be thankful someone is coming to the house secretly to do our housework but hey, I really think she should stop.

It is not doing her any good.
She needs to not come to the house and continue to relive memories that'll just make her sad.

My brother did not want you, it is his lose.
Now is the time to redeem your life and get it back on track.
You used to live with him, serve him like a servant, tolerate his nonsense.
Now get up and move.

Don't come to the house and continue being the fool anymore.
The man might already have someone on the side.
If you continue doing what you are doing, one day you may come to the house and suddenly realise, he has moved on and someone new come to take your place in the house.
How then would you feel?

Please don't think that by being his secret little elf helper, he will start to appreciate and miss you.
He had you, he didn't appreciate. What makes you think he will, after you are gone?

If he had really wanted to, he'd be at your doorstep asking/begging you to take him back but he didn't.

Please don't come to the house one day to find the locks have been changed.
I don't wish to hurt you but I think you do not have anymore business in the house.

Go on and lead the life you have to.
You will be much happier without him, trust me.

I think...

2009-09-27T05:39:00.000-07:00

I found my life's calling.

To shop for electronic household products.

I hate shopping for groceries. I hate shopping for clothes unless all my outfits are falling to pieces.
I hate shopping period.

But I love shopping for electronic products.
No wait, I hate shopping for say watches or even ipods, just specifically household stuff like vacuum cleaners, TVs, home theatre systems, cake mixers, electrical steamboats....you get the idea.

I only just discovered this joy when today, I decided to take a trip down to the nearest electronics departmental shop to scout around for a TV.

See my TV, she is old.
Old does not even quite cut it.
She was born early 2000 and for electronic stuff, shes considered really ancient.
She's been acting up lately.
Whenever she is switched on, her screen flickers on and off, disrupting my TV viewing.
And I have taken to whacking her really hard on her head(that kind of solves the problems, we've been facing - This is what TV does to you. Makes you violent).
Been feeling bad about it.
My TV is well, broken.
Her top is completely smashed up from the constant domestic violence but at least now I know Vidal Sassoon's hair brush(the black ones Watson's sell off the racks)are virtually indestructible.

So now I have never remembered electronic products being so CHEAP?!
My 32 inch plasma TV was a steal(I thought) for just SGD$599.
Until of course my colleague pointed out that she once saw TVs being sold at Giant Supermarket for a hundred dollar lesser.
Oh well, who cares. At least they did not make me lug the whole thing all the way back home.

I always buy things in pairs.
For as long as I can remember myself(the irony of this statement baffles me!), I have always bought things never singularly.

Shoes + socks
Belt + jeans
Skirt + Blouse

or at least in another colour.

So I bought my new TV and thought maybe she'd feel lonely.
So I bought myself a new Sony home theatre system to keep her company.
Aren't I most thoughtful~?

And all these for slightly more than a thousand dollars?!

I remember a time when a small normal TV would cost 600 to 800 dollars and a Hi-Fi system no less than 1000 buckeroos.

Economies of Scale how I love thee!

As if it is not hard enough...

2009-09-25T06:40:00.000-07:00

waking up in the morning in your humble housing board development flat, getting dressed in your humble attire and taking a humble public bus to your humble work.

You are on the bus lamenting silently about your not so prospective humble future, worrying slightly about the "prospects" of your future humble old age.

Daily inner regret for turning a deaf ear to your mother's constant pleas to "study hard and make something out of yourself".

As if it is not hard enough...

Your bus goes on the East Coast Expressway and crosses the river. You see the Singapore Flyer in the not so far off distance and you instinctively turn your head to the left to catch the rising sun in the east, across the river and you glance green barricades on the sleeves of the expressway sporadically spaced out to prevent people from looking beyond.

And you think "oh grand prix season is here..."
That would mean jams on the roads because of closures.
You take a mental note to start work journey earlier so as not to get done for coming to work late.

Then...you see luxury yachts park languidly in the waters.
Their super-rich owners presumably there for the grand prix.
You wonder what the people inside are doing at 8.30am in the morning. Perhaps sleeping.
And what do they do if they suddenly want to buy something?
Do they drive their boats to nearby boat quay and park at some random jetty to rush to the nearest 7-11?

Then you realise something sad.
You will never know nor be able to find out.
Because you will never be able to experience the life that these so-called super rich live.
Not that you actually wish to but it would be nice.

It would be nice to have a backyard of grass and flowers.
But it would be a damn good thrill to have a backyard jetty with a luxury yacht parked.
Try taking a drive down to Sentosa The Cove to see what I am talking about.
Everything there is so surreal.
People don't walk around the neighbourhood.
They scoot around in golf carts.

You don't know what these people did to get so filthy rich but you suspect all is not to do with education.

Sure, they probably went to prestigious educational institutions and attained privileged degrees but that's because they had monetary resources provided for, to make sure they succeed.

By the time you ponder over your life's mediocrity in comparison to "jetty for backyard"...you have to get down the bus.

You hobble up to work and begin your humble day's chores.

At 4pm, your manager emails an office memo for all to leave early if work schedule allows, due to the grand prix and the ominous road jams it usually heralds in.

So you take the opportunity to leave at 6pm(your work hours are from 9 to 6 but you usually don't leave till 8).

While taking the same bus home, you pass by the VIP lounge at the grand prix and you see people happily loitering around, making small talk and sipping champagne.
While you are stuck in traffic(no you did not manage to escape the jam. Not unless you leave town at 2pm).

And you think "FML".

2009-09-21T09:19:00.000-07:00

I will never forgive you this lifetime and the next. No matter how much I try, I cannot forget the humiliation, hurt and ridicule you dished out on me during that whole time.

I had tried to be the better person but because of what people had said about me. No matter what I did or said, it was not only not enough, it was an eyesore to you.
But instead of being truthful to people related. You chose to keep quiet to them.
You should have just said it out, you know?
Just say that you don't think it is a good idea anymore and I should go. But you didn't.
You wasted everyone's time and effort.
I really thought I could be something, with your help.
I really did the best I could.
And I have the results to show it.
But in the end, after all my hard work and effort, everything fell to waste.

You know, this happened a long time ago and I should get over it.
And I have.
I just haven't gotten over the fact that the people I thought I could count on, turned their backs on me so viciously.
They never gave me any chance to defend myself.
Even now, after so long.
They bring up untruths about me.

I don't blame them for not extending assistance when they knew I needed it most.
Maybe they didn't know how much that would have meant to me.
I'm still alive, aren't I?
By my own merits, nonetheless.

I'm just bitter, they chose cowardice.
They should have been honest and told me that it was not turning out to be a good idea.
That's all.
I would have understood and left amicably.
Hell, I knew it was not easy on their part too.
It would have saved us alot of heartbreak.

How does someone face entities who caused so much grief, cordially?
Things will never be the same again.
Let's not be too unrealistic about it.

I'm sorry, I cannot forget.
Nor am I a hypocrite.
Should I even be apologising?

It is such a daunting task everytime I have to face them.
I hate to fake smiles.
I hate to answer same questions(with the same answers).
I hate to look at them and remember bad things that had happened.
But I have to do it, it is supposedly an obligation.
And I am not proud to admit it, sometimes I feign excuses to avoid such encounters.
Sometimes, I just cannot bring myself to do it.

Tradition speaks that I have to feel a tinge of "gratefulness".
How do I feel that emotion when in actual fact, that whole time, it did nothing for me, except for pain and emotional scarring?
Should I be grateful that what did not kill me, made me stronger(and more cynical)?

You know, traditions are created from the past.
And some traditions should be gotten over through education and progress.
We should cut short such waste of time. Time spent that cannot be define as "constructive".
Don't force me to bent to such tradition.
My fillial piety is only limited to certain people.
I'm sorry but you were struck off that list many years ago.

I am not a hyporcrite and I never will be.
Please do not mistake the grin on my face as a smile.
It is in actual fact, a grimace.

2009-09-20T06:43:00.000-07:00

We used to be the 4 of us.
The fantastic 4.

Everyday was so much fun and happiness.
I missed my best friend stomping into the department demanding for the toilet key because she needed to poo.

Every now and then, an IM will pop up asking me for a smoke break.
Lunch would be held at a very glam venue - the carpark.
We laughed, cried, shouted in anger there for hours on end.
Smoking and talking about anything and everything under the sun.

However, all good things, they come to an end.

2 have already left.
And the remaining ones don't even talk cordially.

I miss those days.

2009-09-20T01:54:00.000-07:00

Couldn't bring myself to be hyporcritical this afternoon.

2009-09-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

Do you think people who are superstitious have valid grounds to believe in what they do or are they just people with very vivid imaginations?

This story is about a very average girl who at a very low point in her life was passing by a certain place.
For some reasons, she made a random wish.
A wish so random, there was not a single tinge of specifications what so ever.
A wish stemming from utmost disappointment.
And great sadness.

A few weeks later and nothing happened.
As time went by, she forgot about the incident and carried on her life.
One day, a few months later, she heard news...
Her general wish had come true.
In the most unexpected, unfortunate way.
It was so random, she did not even think that it had come true.

However, as time went on, she realized a pattern in her life.
Things that seemed normal that happened, when she looked back and thought about it.
Well, just did not seem too normal anymore.

When faced with difficulties or even life threatening incidents, someone or something was sure to come to her aid. She only had to wish it.

People or matters that cause her grief.
Somehow or another they will mysteriously be taken away from her situation, making it better.
Or the subjects will become less antagonizing because of something that precede the bad.

Semi charmed kind of life or just plain coincidence?

She has a cushy job.
Not exactly well-off but who can honestly say she is not in need of money.
A smooth and quiet personal and family life that maybe others can term as "happy".

Only for all the good that she has.
There is a price to pay.

Everything else is smooth and plain sailing except when it comes to her love life.
For every relationship she has had. She had to face tremendous obstacles.
None were successful, they caused her much heartbreak and misery.
Even her friends commented several times on her misfortune.
Perhaps this is a problem of timing or just plain bad foresight on her choice of life partners.
Or something else more sinister.

She feels this has something to do with the wish she made in the past.
Unbeknown but only herself(until now), when she made that fateful random wish.
In exchange of it coming true, she had made a pact.
She sold her soul to the devil...

2009-09-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

So strange...I got invited to a wedding of someone I hardly know...via sms...

I'm sorry? Could you please say that again?!

2009-09-12T23:27:00.000-07:00

This posting may offend some people reading it. If you are one of them. I apologise. Please leave this page and know that any cause of grievance is not intended.

Picture this, you have already proposed marriage to your girlfriend.
She magically agrees on one condition - That this marriage will never produce any children.

And so you proceed to ask why.
She explains because you are touching 60 years of age and she wonders what will happen to the children should you pass on.

OK, she is correct.
You are touching 60 years old and shes barely 30.
Let's not even bother trying to "do the math".

Perhaps she is right.
You are too old to bear any children. Shes of the appropriate age. You are not.

What is wrong with this picture?

1) That your bride has already contemplated your sad demise way before marriage? Way before courtship?
Now a days, the notion of life and death is very unpredictable.
Young and old, both are equally susceptible to mortality.
No one can say that only old people pass on first.

But then again...the chances of a 60 year old man dying first is higher.
Lets give that the benefit of the doubt.

Then why did you even think of being with him in the first place? Knowing that in a few years, you may end up as a widow?

AHHHHH...this is where the spicy pull factor comes into play.
Because he is well-off.
Along the years, this man has developed a very healthy bank account.
Maybe he is not the the richest man of Singapore but he is much more wealthier than the average 30 year old Joe.
Rich enough to purchase you your dream bungalow in Jakarta, amoung the richer side of the city's suburban.

So in other words, you want the dough but not the bread.
Children will only add more to the expense.

Oh no...but what will really happen to the children once their father dies?

What are we talking about?
The wealth of their father will see them through at least 2 generations. Especially if you live in Indonesia. Lets add one more generation for good measure.

So do not worry about them having to live off the streets soliciting for their meals.

What about a father's guidance?
Well, alot of children grew up without fathers. I don't see them having to go to a shrink for emotional and psychological support.

Technically, any normal human being, upon hearing what the woman said would be apprehensive about marriage.

Unfortunately, this is a man we are talking about. A lonely 60 year old man who is in bad need of companionship. Especially companionship coming from a 30 year old sexy woman.

Apparently, his children(both older than his wife) cannot give him the sort of attention that he craves.
Nor could he bring himself to pay any sort of attention to his children, the way he feels he needs to, to his new wife.

To said man, his children are a form of obligation and liability, created during his young age of folly.
He married the wrong woman and that woman left him because she decided enough was enough in the 20 years she suffered under his military rule.

So, he left his children and set up new lodging in Indonesia with his new wife.
In a dream bungalow and a dog(which eventually died in an accident).
His children are supposedly living in his 4 room HDB flat as "keepers".
They look after the house while he is away.
He has refused to give up the HDB flat.
Not because he really wants it.
He just does not wish to share the profit of the sale with his children.
As a result, they are doomed to stay in the god-forsakened house because they can't buy another house as long as they have a "share" in this place.

Many people have loving parents who give them proper guidance and love.
They grow up as happy adults but some still stray along the way.
Some grumble and grouse about their parents. Wishing that they could do more.
I say, if you know of any children who feel that whatever they have been given is insufficient. Please let them read my posting and realise that some others don't have the privilage of parental love.

I am sure there are more unfortunate people who have worst stories to tell.
What I just posted is probably just the tip of the ice berg of how horrible some parents can get.

Perhaps some readers may say well at least thank your parentsfor giving you a chance to live on this earth.
Maybe that is true.
But think about it. If you think you cannot give your children the proper love and care that they deserve. Please decide against procreating and get a pet rock instead.

Drama in a small quiet neighbourhood carpark

2009-09-12T04:14:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, as I was dozing off in bed, I heard a vehicle screeched and a loud "BANG!".

I rushed to the window to see that a blue van had lost control and hit a parked car in our small neighbourood carpark.

Subsequently a boy no more than 15 years old crawled out of the van, looked at the damage he caused, hesitated for abit and ran off.

Moments later, people went over to take a look at the commotion.

The owner of the car and his wife hurried to the scene and the first thing they did was...no did not call the police.

They started taking photos of the accident.

Eventually the van's owner came to the scene and after a discussion, both parties went away with their vehicles.

Thats what happens when your teenage son steals your van for a little joy ride in the carpark.

2009-09-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

I was hailing a cab this morning and while waiting for one.
A young girl conveniently walked ahead of me, looked at my direction and then turned away.
She knew very well I was intending to hail a cab as well.

When the next available taxi came around, she hailed it as well.
The taxi was just about to stop for her and she was about to open the door to get in.

My circuit fused.

I shouted "OOI!!" at her and flailed my hands up in question to what she thought she was doing.

When she stopped to looked at me, the taxi driver figured that I was there first and he went ahead to my direction.

All the time she was staring holes at me. Not noticing that another taxi was coming towards her. So I angstily told her "EH! There is a taxi. Stop staring at me and just get in!"

As I got in, I heard the girl go "You are such a bitch!"

Before I shut the taxi door, I retorted "Yes I know I am a bitch and damn proud of it!!"

So I may have slightly overreacted this morning.

It is not about whether there are other taxis around or if I was late for work.

This is about principle.

The principle of it is, I was there first.

You do not take for granted that people are just going to give you your own way.

Whilst most people will just grin and bear it.

Some people(like me), won't.

If you really have a valid reason to why you should take the cab first.
Tell me.
Tell me you need to go first.
You don't even have to tell me your reason.
At least have that little bit of courtesy.

I had an elderly lady ask me if it is OK for her to get a cab first because she had a doctor's appointment.

Did I say no?

Even if she did not tell me her reasons, I'd have found her extremely polite.

People just aren't made like they used to anymore.

What has the world come to?

When people think it is their god given right to just jump right in.
People are getting way too selfish for their own good.

It is not only jumping turns.

People go to lunch and decided that just as long as they bring along a packet of tissue paper and place it on the table, they can leave it and claim it as theirs when they return.

While people lugging trays of food cannot use the tables because well, they are "reserved".

As far as I am concerned, "reservation" of tables is usually done by phone.
Not by tissue paper.

Whatever gave these people the idea that they can do this?
Selfishness.
And the fact that the other suffering people allow such behaviour to continue.

Just place the tissue paper away and sit.
What are the people going to do? Tell you the table was already taken? By who?
There weren't anybody at the table, just packets of tissue paper.

You want a table, make someone sit and wait for the rest so that they can physically "chop" the seats. I think that is the only most polite way of doing things.

When you go out drinking, you have a designated (sober) driver. When you go out to lunch, you have a designated "seater".
You don't ask a packet of tissue paper to drive you home, do you?

Well, I won't stand for such misbehaviour.
You think you have your rights, so do I.
At least, I won't jump turns and I won't use tissue paper to reserve tables.

If you don't have the basic respect for other people, at least have some respect for yourself and go on living life with at least some fundamental integrity.

No, I think this is important because if people can't differentiate between what is wrong and right on such trivial matters, I suppose they won't be able to judge when it comes to bigger stuff.

2009-09-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

You can kick dirt in my face and I will falter but you can never break my spirit.
I'll bounce back and be stronger than ever before.

Cinderella - Phillip Rushton (Circa 2000)

2009-08-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

Just let me 5 minutes of embarassing nostalgia, please...

When 91.3fm was still an "Ah Beng" radio channel churning out all these euro-techno rubbish.

Malaysian Muslim 'cow head' demo criticised

2009-08-30T01:12:00.000-07:00

Malaysian Muslim 'cow head' demo criticised

"The protest was against the relocation of a Hindu temple to a Muslim-majority neighbourhood in the state. News websites Malaysiakini and The Malaysian Insider published pictures of the bloodied cow head."

How selfish have we become?
And how cowardly.

I truly believe the Islam god or Allah did not teach Muslims to behave in this manner of uncouth.

And it is true what one protester said. He will not apologise because it was one individual who brought the cow head for the demonstration.

However, why was the act allowed to carry on.

This is an act of intolerance and hatred caused by individuals who use God's name in vain.

Why cannot a Hindu temple(or any other religious place of worship) be located in a "Malay-Muslim majority"?

Is there a reason?

If there is, please then write up an affidivit of some sort and present it in a matured and intelligent manner.

Were the Hindus in question demanding that all who live within a certain range of vicinity go to the temple to worship the hindu gods and place donations?

Were the hindu prayers in any way causing public disturbance?

If that is the case, all non-muslims can go and protest at the Government house because we all know muslims pray 5 times a day and each prayer session, someone at the mosque will send out a signal called a "Bang" loudly for all muslims to gather at the mosque.

Everyone else will get into problems because Chinese temples also have monks praying loudly and Christian churchs ring bells.

Malaysia is predominantly muslim populated.
To say that the Hindu temple cannot be built in a muslim majority area is bollocks.
Where then, pray tell, can the temple be built in?
Singapore?

Where is the charity and tolerance that Islam always promotes?

Why do we see so many muslims(and of course other religious people) causing so much hatred and pain?

The human nature is by far the most selfish one on earth.
And worst, we hide our bad natured-ness under the image of God.
Everything bad that we do, we no longer say "the devil made me do it". Now it is "because God said so."

I wonder how God must be feeling right now.

2009-08-28T22:01:00.000-07:00

So I was not quite successful in leaving my horrible job.
Yesssss...I am still going to office on a regular basis.

In all honesty(not that I was not truthful before), I heart my job.
I love talking to (clueless)expatriates regarding their immigration in Singapore.
I love answering their immigration/passport queries because I love it!
I love solving their problems and getting thankful/grateful notes by them.

True, some of the queries are really out of this world dumb!
But then you think about it.
If they knew it all, I would be out of a job. They would not need me.
I don't think people in general love asking stupid questions.

And imagine being relocated to a strange place without any strong knowledge of its culture, background and legal system.
You are like an alien and a quite helpless and clueless one at that.

Especially those expats who come to Singapore tagging along a whole village of relatives.
They need schooling for their little children and a proper lodging to house the critters.
They don't know wheres a good place to keep their children literate or which area is decent enough to stay(least they end up in some ulu red light district).

So the companies engage companies the likes of those I work in. People to step in and guide their foreign staff in all this miscellanous things.

Usually these companies have a whole entire community of foreigners. Working in companies such as big commercial banks for instance. It is like the United Nations(I quote from one Malaysian staff in one of the major Petroleum companies in Singapore).
In some companies, there are about 300 to 400 foreign staff. An entire cohort consisting of people from countries such as India, England and America. And Human Resources alone cannot service each and every clueless individual.

The secret of this job is very simple. It is "to care".
Many of my colleagues treat these people as commodities.
Things to settle and file into cabinets once everything is done and to be forgotten.
They fail to realise that behind every surname is a human being.
Some of these individuals have very unique relocation problems.
Usually they have very generic relocation criteria.
Move me and my biological family full-stop.
However, some have adopted children, step children or sometimes a disable child.
Some have parents and parents-in-law.
Some come in with their pets and need to know the proper way to import animals to Singapore.

Some come in and later pass on and we need to assist the companies in dealing with the procedure.

Others face immigration problems when they undergo divorce in a foreign land.

Whatever problems there are, note that all these involve people.

The more you treat them inanimate. The more tedious the work becomes.

Behind every email and telephone call is a voice that needs some kind of help and it is magical once you hear a laugh or sigh of relief once everything is properly explained and understood(from both parties - The foreigner and yourself).

My colleague was laid off yesterday.
The company cited "service issues" and the lack of commitment and carelessness.

I have been trying to tell her to be more careful especially in dealing with immigration for the people she is in charge of.

Missing a dateline for rental payment for a month or two, at most the landlord will threaten to kick you out and then you obediently pay up and everything is settled.

However, if a foreigner's work pass or long term visit pass expires and he or she is walking around in Singapore with such a pass.
It is considered overstaying and the foreigner is to be classifed as an illegal immigrant by the authorities to be arrested upon inspection of pass.

Imagine being in the office and getting a call by say your mother and she is telling you she got arrested whilst walking to the supermarket because the police stopped her and realised she does not have a proper visa to live in the country.

How would that make you feel?

No one told you that you need to have your passes renewed because...they forgot.
And you did not know better because...remember you are the clueless alien in a foreign land.

For every day of "Overstay", there is a penalty of SGD$100.
Do the math.

Once a pass expires, the Immigration checkpoints exiting Singapore will NOT allow you out of the country unless you pay up the fine.
And no, they will not tell you to get out of the airport and go home. It is an automatic warrant of arrest.
The next place you will be sitting in is in some random police station in Changi.
If no one comes to assist you during that period of time, you will be tried in court, put in jail, fined and whacked a few times on the buttocks and then deported.
Barred from coming to Singapore for a few years(not that you will relish the thought of ever coming back after the whole drama).

So it is not just "oh crap, I forgot to tell this so-and-so his pass expired and we need to renew it". There are unforeseen outcomes to what seems like such a trivial matter.

And of course...the company who sponsored the pass to you also gets into deep shit for not renewing your pass or for failing to to make sure you leave upon expiration of work pass.

2009-08-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

And so the "Janice Quits Her Job" saga continues.

Tomorrow I am officially submitting my resignation letter.
I feel relieved and my mood is improved by the finality of it all.

I had hoped to continue working for this company as I loved what I was doing.
However, as time went by, I could not help but think the company was taking the whole lot of us for a horrible ride.

If you suck at your job, they make you feel sucky by piling on more work.
If you kick ass at what you do, they make you feel sucky by piling on more work.
So it is a never ending cycle of slave driving.
More profit at the expense of it's staff.

They put on a facade that we as staff should be honoured and privilaged that we are working for such an established company. It being backed by one of America's top insurance company.
And for awhile, most of us were starting to believe in this superstition.

In actual fact, this is a bunch of absurd lies.
It does not matter whos backing the company up.
What matters most is who is managing it and there is a whole flea circus marching around giving out flea commands on what should or should not be done.
It was a bad joke until it became extremely not funny.

Well, the bad joke is going to be over for me.
By end October, I'd be waving "Sayonara" to this god forsakened establishment.
I don't care what I do then as long as I get my ass out of the door...never looking back.

2009-08-25T10:00:00.000-07:00

It has been 7(working) days since I went to work.
And I don't feel one bit sorry or missed it.

Told my boss my consideration of resignation.
Tomorrow(or rather this morning), I am going back to office to discuss it with her.

Life has become meaningless.
Hasn't it?
Even playing hookey is not fun anymore.
In fact, it is quite boring sitting around the house all day doing nothing.
Mentioned to my brother my intention to quit my job.
He asked my what I want to do next.
I have absolutely no inkling of my next step.
Pretty much lost in the woods.

Such a sad excuse for a life.
Really.

Resignation

2009-08-24T01:01:00.000-07:00

I thought I was able to face work today.

Woke up relatively early for preparation.

However, during shower, I thought "No. I don't think I can do this.".

So I called in "sick" again.

At this point, I don't care who hates me.
No really, I don't.

Did not even bother to literally call in sick.
I just sms-ed my Manager to tell her I can't come to work.
She didn't reply.
I didn't bother.

I hope they terminate my services so I don't have to tender my resignation and serve a 2 month notice.

A 2 month notice of which I am pretty sure will be hellish.
Already it is not a walk in the park.

The company is a slave driver.

All those talk about how MNC American companies have their staff welfare at heart?
Thats just it, talk.

I don't know.
May tell my Manager I'll be tendering my resignation once I come back from Hong Kong.
Either that or they terminate me tomorrow(I hope and wish).
Whatever, I cannot do this anymore.

2009-08-22T01:50:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to go to Hong Kong next month to visit my best friend.

2009-08-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

How do I pick myself up and out of this mess?
I have been suffering from stomach flu and depression since Sunday night.
Have been out of action from the office for a week.
I have insomnia. I can't get to sleep til 6am.
I spend my days sleeping and watching TV and occasionally staring into blank spaces.

In short, my life sucks, my work sucks.
My colleagues hate me for not going to office and having to cover my work when I am not around.

Frankly, I am quite prepared to leave this job and go look for another one.

I have no inclination to go out and take a walk to visit friends and relatives.
I don't even have the motivation to die.
Just too lazy to do things constructively.

Could be quarter-life crisis.
Or just plain worn and washed out.

Thirty years on the face of this earth and exactly what did I hope to achieve.
Nothing.
I hate my worthless job.
A love that was never requitted and realised this fact only 2 years down the god forsaken road.
Best friends who seemed to have it all going for them.
All of them have moved on to jobs overseas.
I feel quite left behind.
I feel like quitting and going back to my old work.
As unambitious as it was, I never felt so worthless the 6 years I was there.
In fact, I was happy.

I wished I never met him.
Never knew of his existence.
All the 24 months of lies and deception.
I was gullible.
Perhaps I chose to indulge those untruths.
And now when I decide not to be indulgent. I feel like crap.

I really wished I could turn back time and do things differently.
Thats what people say when things fuck up.
This is human nature.
Please do not judge me.
I am only human.

I just want peace of mind and simple happiness.
I don't even want riches and luxury.
Just a plain simple quiet happy life.
That is all.

Is that too much to ask for?

2009-08-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

I could be heading for a full blown depression.

The Dream

2009-08-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

I dreamt I was in the kitchen of my house with a group of strangers I knew in my dream.
My kitchen faced another kitchen from the next block and we could see clearly into the house.

From our window, we could see a group of people in the opposite unit and they looked and sounded like they were in a heated arguement.

Suddenly, a woman standing closest to the window threatened loudly to jump out.
The people in the house did not look like they were taking her seriously.
And the next thing we knew, she climbed onto the window sill and leapt.

As I was approaching closer to my window to take a closer look to see what happened to the lady.

An old man in my kitchen signalled me not to look but for some odd reasons, I disobeyed him.

The lady jumped apparently to her death 3 stories down.
There were some people(presumably passer-bys) who had crowded around her body.
It was night or near dark.

I could see people looking out of other units in the opposite block at the commotion.
And suddenly, as if planned, some old ladies from different units started to wail and cry.
It was a terrible noise.

The dream scene ended and I found myself crossing a street towards a row of old shophouses with a stranger who was my friend.
We were in a hurry because it was raining and we were seeking shelter.
For some odd reasons, my friend kept on looking at my footwear and I began to wonder why.
When I looked down, I saw that I was wearing pretty purple Braziliano Praias. I was quite pleased.

After walking for abit, we realised that we were not alone. We had somehow picked up a group of friends and strangely I noticed that the ghost of the lady who jumped to her death was hanging around with us.

I did not feel fear, only sadness as she looked woeful and lonely.
I remember speaking to her briefly about something of which I cannot remember.

When I woke up, I checked my clock and it showed 3.30am.
I soon fell asleep but did not have anymore dreams.

I wonder what that could mean?

Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince

2009-08-01T22:11:00.000-07:00

Boy goes to magic school.
Boy picks up an old potions book belonging to one "half blood prince".
Boy scores very well in class.
Boy goes to parties.
Boy has crush on friend's sister.
Everyone has juvenile crushes and BGR problems.
A cupboard which is actually a time transport machine.
Tom Riddle calafares for a few moments exampling his issues dating back to his childhood days(which I suspect has something to do with his inner homosexual tendencies).
Draco Malfoy discovers the joy of Brylcreem and excessivesly applies it to his hair.
Anorexia nervosa is probably one of his many issues(lack of sunshine also being one of them and drug abuse too - Which accounts for his anti-social behaviour and the strange company he keeps).
Boy accompanies Principle to a dark watery cave.
Boy forces Principle to drink black water from a shell.
Principle is thirsty.
Boy magics out water in a container but shell cannot pick up the water.
He never thought of just magicking water straight into the shell.
He goes to draw water from pond.
Zombies come out. Gets burned by magic fire.
Principle and boy reach school safely.
Draco attempts to assasinate Principle. Has no guts.
Snapes takes over and forces Principle down the tower.
Principle dies.
Everyone crowds around him and point their wands into the sky and clears it for abit.

Half-Blood Prince turns out to be Snapes but no one could be bothered to ask "so what?"

2 hours and 45 mins.
The ending was as insignificant as the whole movie itself.
No one could be bothered to ask "What the hell just happened?" for fear of having to relive the whole experience.
In fact, I can imagine everyone breathing a sigh of relief when it ended.

I suspect the real reason why Draco is so skinny is because Snapes ate all his food.

Everyone was a calafare in this movie, even Harry Potter himself.
It looked to me the movie producer was trying to squeeze in almost every character, every issue into what little time he had.
Resulting in characters prancing in front of the screen for about 10 secounds showcasing their stories and then getting kicked away by yet another issue-fied individual.
Even the giant spider(though dead) stole some of the precious movie time for his unceremonious funeral out in the fields.

The movie should be renamed:

Hurry Poofter and The Half-Baked Prick

The Post with alot of cuss and swear

2009-07-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

What the fuck do you know about poverty?

So you post a 10 min video of a 40 min documentary on "child prostitution" in Batam from your cushy air-conditioned room in some obscure condo in Singapore.

What the fuck is your point?

Oh how fucking sad the situation is?
Don't we fucking know?
What the fuck are we(or rather you) gonna fucking do about it?

Nothing.
Just sit down in my cushy room, surf the fucking internet for random videos like these, post it and make my fucking life feel better.

Do you in your fucking fab life in Singapore stop to think. What kind of fucked-up choices these girls get the moment they step into this world?

They dont get to choose when or where they get borned.
Unfortunately they get into this really fucked up impoverished life, ALOT of normal Singaporeans like you or fucking me cannot imagine.

Their definition of poor is not a "I don't live in a condo" kinda poor.
Thats a Singaporean's definition of fucking "poor".

Poor for them is not knowing where the fuck their next meals are gonna come from.
Poor for them is not having a proper house(lets not even fucking talk about the word "home").
Some of them children we see on TV roam the streets.

Tell me what sort of opportunites would they hope to get in such a fucked up condition?

It is not about a choice of "OK either go to fucking State University, study overseas in some privilaged institution of education or...ok lemme see...what is the next other best alternative...say why don't I force myself to be a fucking prostitute?"

They can't even choose to work in your so-called appaling "sweat factories" making your fucked up 400 dollar designer shoes you saunter around in BECAUSE you cried "FOUL!!!" Young kids shouldn't be working long fucking god damn mudder fucking hours making shoes!!!!"

Those fucking capitalist companies like NIKE and Adidas are so fucking shit scared of employing children to make their stuff cos they'd get done so they fucking kick those kids BACK INTO THE GOD DAMN SON OF A BITCH streets.

Why are you even making hell of a ruckus when all these kids need is to just survive?

You even think about all these shit situations these children face when you decide to say OH FUCK WHY ARE THEY LIVING LIKE THIS?

BECAUSE they don't have a chance in this world to choose.

Please don't sit down wearing your designer clothes and footwear in the safety of your fucking HOMES and watch "appaling" videos and go..."I am going to post this and MAKE a change".

You go out of your bitch "comfort zone". You fucking volunteer your service to these kids. You walk the streets with them and then you find what little rights you have to ask OH FUCK WHY ARE THEY LIVING LIKE THIS?

These people don't need your fake sympathy(which by the way ends when you get sleepy from watching too much YOUTUBE and decide to go sleep on your 1000 thread count clean linen). They need your help.

Forgo your spanking 20,000 dollar racing bike and donate that money to see someone through formal education.

Fork out 10% of your monthly salary to feed a family of 5 in rural Indonesia for a YEAR.

If you fucking cannot do that, then just shut your fucking trap and continue on your bloody life of luxury.

Stop whining about other peoples' misfortunes for lack of your own.

Don't whimper what is fair and what is not.

You don't know.

People in those sort of situations don't think about fairness. They just want to survive.

Don't judge what is right or wrong.

You don't know what is right or wrong.

You live in almost utopia-like Singapore.

You never had soliciting just to have a meal.

So shut your fat gap and stuff it with a god damn capitalist big mac

NSF gets five days’ detention

2009-07-26T07:45:00.000-07:00

NSF gets five days’ detention

How did Madana(the NSF in question) manage to keep his hair during his Basic Military Training?

- Due to a "lapse in judgement" from his previous camp, he was allowed to keep his hair long and allowed to have food sent to him daily because he was a Brahmin Priest and needed to have his hair retained and food cooked by a temple.

We all understand that rules and regulations are meant to be adhered but the fact that Madana was allowed such exceptions already showed that the rules and regulations can can be negotiated and at times bent(whether it was bent during a "lapse of judgement" or otherwise).

The army stresses on the prohibition of "deviations in rules and regulations" but the fact that Madana was allowed to retain his hair and eat food from outside source during his BMT already showed deviations not caused by the NSF himself but by his authorities.

Can the army also maintain a specific Standard of Procedure? Because it seems to the public that different units have different sets of "rules and regulations" that are prohibited from deviations.

What can be done in one unit may or may not be done in another.

It is NOT the fault of the NSF that he was allowed to have his hair long and eat outside food. It was a lapse of judgement not pertaining from his parents or himself. It was by the army itself.

Imagine a time and day when during a period of war, a country decides to stop warring with another and then when everything is fine and dandy, it suddenly turns its ammo at the same country, unannounced because it realised that the truce it announced earlier was a "lapse of judgement"...

Please exercise integrity, Army of Singapore!

Let your word be worth in gold. If the NSF was allowed to do so, let it be for as long as he serves his time in army. I highly doubt he will decide to sign on anyway.
A lapse of judgement does not mean a deviation. It just goes to show that army officers are human prone to err too.

You should have taken it as a "one off" thing and then disallow further deviations, moving forward.

** The Brahmins have been around for as long as the Sikhs.
The fact that the Sikhs are allowed to not cut their hair and use a turban is in rightful - a tradition from the past but by saying that it is because of this tradition they are allowed this "deviation" and the Brahmins are not is absurd.
You should just leave the Sikhs alone as they are not involved in this whole matter.

Goodbye Mr Sing

2009-05-07T06:21:00.001-07:00

The world is round and constantly turning. Dynamic. Never static. Never take people for granted. But as dynamic and ever changing. The world is round. I believe I'll see you again...

The last picture I took of him in January 2009.
The next time I visited the boat in April, they told me he had resigned.
I asked around and found out he had left since March.

For whatever reason you had to leave so abruptly. I hope you forgive me the way we parted ways...

I thought of finding a way to contact you but so what if I do? What is there to say? So I guess it is best I remember you the way I will always do...Like this.

Weather Forecast For Phuket

2009-04-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

Wednesday Night
Low: 82°F / 28°C Scattered Clouds

Thursday
High: 86°F / 30°C Chance of a Thunderstorm -------->The day I am going

Thursday Night
Low: 82°F / 28°C Chance of a Thunderstorm -------->All the way

Friday
High: 84°F / 29°C Chance of a Thunderstorm ------>Chance of Thunderstorm

Friday Night
Low: 80°F / 27°C Thunderstorm------>What are the odds?

Saturday
High: 82°F / 28°C Thunderstorm------->When from Monday
Saturday Night
Low: 78°F / 26°C Thunderstorm----->till Wednesday

Sunday
High: 82°F / 28°C Thunderstorm---->It is "Scattered clouds" or
Sunday Night
Low: 78°F / 26°C Thunderstorm---->"Partly cloudy"?

Thai Protesters Hod New Rally In Bangkok

2009-04-25T05:26:00.000-07:00

Thai Protesters Hold New Rally In Bangkok

Hello people???

I still need to go to Phuket next week.

Can you NOT let my mother worry?

Geeezzz....

Sabaai Sabaai - Bird Thongchai & Sek Loso

2009-04-21T09:32:00.000-07:00

If you ever have to sing one thai song to save your life.

Learn this!

nevermind the fact I think Seksun Sookpimai is the coolest human being to walk the face of this earth :P

Bird ThongChai - Koo Kad

2009-04-16T10:28:00.000-07:00

One huge blow of Thai eccentricities should heal me of 5 days in Phuket(I hope).

Temper

2009-04-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

I really need to control my temper.
But I don't know how.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-10T05:16:00.000-07:00

There is no resurrection without a cruxifiction and the cross is the sign of a Christian.

Happy Easter!

Awful Parenting Tips

2009-03-22T10:11:00.000-07:00

1) Speak to your child like an adult

- Children are much smarter than adults. They just seem to become stupid as the years go by, making them, well, adults.
I am not saying you should hammer your children without any form of verbal reasoning at first but by the third reasoning(aka warning) and the child is adamently pursuing whatever you told it not to, by all means show that you mean business.

There are of course other means of force other than the use of physical pain.

2) My child is the cutest thing on earth, everyone agrees

- Next time, please check the general public's consensus before making up such silly statements.
Enough said.

3) Bribing your children to score well in their exams is wrong

- Apparently, people who say such things do not know the word "incentive" and who have never received bonuses of any kind in their lives but who continue working in that sort of shitty assed working environment which does not appreciate their human resource.
What do you call those people again? Oh yes, stupid.

4) Children should receive only positive statements from their parents

- And have them believe in lies?
Like some of the contestants on those talent competitions we see on TV?
They obviously suck but because of their extreme family "support" and "encouragement", they actually think they are damn good and quite obnoxious in their denial at that.

5) Children should be left till they are much older to choose what they believe in(religion)

- How can you choose on something you were never opened to?
Believe me, they are just going to grow up oblivious and impressionable, joining whichever cult is in trend.
A solid religious background will enable a child to choose when he or she is matured enough to know what they want to believe in by using compare and contrast.

2009-03-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

I guess everything has to be taken with a pinch of salt.
I cannot be so sensitive.

Everyday I learn new things.

I will still however, employ him as my Dive guide, should I ever hit the jackpot and get myself a boat to sail around Phuket.

*shrug*

The Weekend

2009-03-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

"People who blog don't don't have a life"

Friday - Skipped Thai lessons to go home to sleep

Saturday - Met up with the old friends for some KTV and beer drinking.

It has been a long time since I sat down, sang a few songs and downed a few cans of beer.

Sunday - Met up with the old friends for Japanese.

Its been awhile, so much as changed.

But I miss him terribly.
Words cannot express.
:(

Work Stress

2009-03-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think of the things we say during work and it really cracks me up.

AP(newly married gal): I think I am too heaty...*cough cough*
Me: I heard sperm is really heaty...
AP: .......

YS(when shes deliriously stressed up: I don't know if I am going to the heaven or to the hell! (A quote from Labu Labi - Some old fucking funny malay comedy show)

2009-03-07T10:07:00.000-08:00

This is the life. Being able to lay in bed and surf the Internet.
Went to ICA with Chris to get her ID card replaced.
Afterwhich we proceeded to have briyani at Islamic.

For those who do not know what Islamic is. It is a well known restaurant that sells well, briyani rice. It has been around since the 60's and the original shop is still near the Sultan mosque in kampong glam.

Queensway shopping centre was next on the list.
Total damage?
One pair of Puma speed princess ballarina's and a pair of kustom sandals.
Almost bought a pair of retro Nike airmax but didn't have my size and one pair of retro reeboks- Chris said "ugly" :(

Started to rain,decided to go home.
Took a cab, cab driver very rude.
Ate granola and went to nap.
Woke up at 12midnight to eat instant noodles and now I'm hungry again.
I eat too much during weekends...

It has been awhile since

2009-02-27T09:54:00.000-08:00

- I went for a holiday. Seems like it at least!
- I last saw you
- You last me
- I felt worried about the uncertainties of my life and the current economic crisis
- I felt like I was ready to fall in love
- I walked in the rain for fun
- I had any kind of fun for that matter!
- I had any form of carnal knowledge :P
- I went to church
- I prayed
- I took my dog for a walk
- I went for a walk
- I saw my paternal grandparents
- I watched a worthy movie
- I saw a whaleshark
- I ever felt this lonely
- I got grossly drunk
- I vomitted
- I had the time to be this contemplative about my life

Roses - Gingerbread - circa early 1980's

2009-02-10T05:43:00.000-08:00

Roses - Gingerbread

When I was a toddler, this was my baby song to fall asleep to.
When I came across this song, it brought a very bittersweet feeling in my heart.

Can you remember your baby song?
I am sure when you do hear it now...you'll feel the same way...

2009-02-04T09:10:00.000-08:00

"I don't know if I really like that thai dude? But what I do know is, I don't love MW anymore..."

25 Random Things About Myself

2009-01-24T11:20:00.000-08:00

1) I am left-handed

2) I have a phobia for creepy crawlies (especially roaches, beetles and moths)

3) I love animals generally but my dog is the love of my life

4) I am learning how to speak, read and write Thai

5) I suck at math

6) I like scuba diving

7) I get sea sick very easily

8) I am not stuck-up; I am shy

9) I do not know how to eat using my fingers, properly

10) I dislike festivities of any kind

11) I do care what people think of me

12) I have thought of quiting smoking of late

13) I am 100% Straits Born Chinese (Peranakan)

14) My favourite food is anything that has noodles

15) I don't really like Straits Born Chinese cuisine

16) I do know how to speak mandarin relatively well (although I claim I don't!)

17) I was born a Roman Catholic and would wish to die as one

18) I am a closeted(or maybe not so closeted) nerd - I actually like to study

19) I always wear matching lingerie(wearing mismatch ones incomplete my day)

20) I dislike pumpkin in my food (but I like pumpkin seeds)

21) I eat ketchup with almost everything else

22) I like to sing

23) I have a fear of heights (acrophobia)

24) I have 3 closest people (2 of them are my mother and brother)

25) I watch the news on a daily basis (another fact that I am a closeted nerd)

Obama's Nonbeliever Nod Unsettles Some

2009-01-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

Obama's Nonbeliever Nod Unsettles Some

It is not wrong to bring up and address deep-rooted issues. It is a known secret, no matter how America tries to maintain a non-racist attitude, there will be occasions when people judge each other just by using skin color.

But hey, racism happens not just in America, it happens everywhere. Everywhere people of different skin tones are found together. It is inevitable that people create stereotypical ideas about certain groups of individual.

I am not saying that racism is right. It is not. Although people of similar skin tones do share some similar characteristic traits. It is absolutely wrong to judge each and everyone using a particular benchmark custom made just by their skin.

BUT it is strange(and perhaps not right) if the topic keeps on surfacing, especially when it happens during politically inclined occasions.

When an issue is brought up. It beings AWARENESS.
And with awareness comes along REALIZATION.

For example:

A weather forecaster says today it might rain torrents.
And you are going out.
The Forecaster has brought up an "issue" and it has made you "aware".
And you REALIZE, maybe you need to take along a brolly because it is going to be raining quite heavily and you don't want to get caught in it. So you consider in your mind the prospects of getting caught in the rain but at the same time how inconvenient it is to be lugging around an umbrella and what if it doesn't rain at all?

But then the weather forecaster keeps on repeating his "it might rain torrents" statement every 10 minutes or so.

And you cannot help it but feel irritated but you are increasingly taken in by the fact that it MIGHT just rain after all.

=============================
Some people in America may have never faced or really bothered with the issue of racism at all.
But by having the issue addressed to them, most of them may have already been put to realize that there may be such a thing going on around them and for some odd reasons, it is really uncivilized of them to just sit around and watch their own brothers and sisters get treated like crap just because of their skin color.

True, by mentioning each and almost every race there is in America is a form of recognizing them as a part of the country.
But what about the people who are of mixed heritage?
Or some other race you just failed to mention...?
And how about the fact that just by mentioning each race in your speech you may be segregating a nation you are so-called trying to unite?

And to make a situation worse, you have also further divided the country not only by race but also by religion.

Highlighting the differences instead of the unity that your forefathers had struggled to achieve.

That trump card can always turn out to be a "joker".

Ong Bak 2

2009-01-20T05:03:00.001-08:00

Fighting, fighting and you guessed it...MORE fighting

The End.

Phuket 2009

2009-01-15T00:47:00.001-08:00

Funny how sometimes we either choose to deny the obvious or were just too stupid to comprehend.

I had known Mr S since April 2007. He was my dive guide at Similan Island then. Back then it was my first ever dive trip abroad on my own so I was a tat bit clueless. He was very helpful and very kind to me.

Ever since I dived with him, my tank(which would by the way be weighing at least 10 stones)would always be carried by him to the dive board(where we actually jump off the boat from). So I never had to walk more than 5 steps to jump off each dive. During the dives, he will be showing stuff to everyone and because I was a)either somewhere else daydreaming about somethings or b) plain lazy to take a picture, he would take my cam and take the photos for me. So yes, most of my 2007 dive pics in Thailand? I must confess now, not taken by myself.

During our 5 metres - 3 minute break(something we do just before we surface up for safety reasons, go up to 5 metre level and hang around there for 3 minutes), Mr S would sometimes check my air in tank gauge, if on a good day and I still have a decent amount of air in my tank, he would take me to look at fishes that would normally hang around the surface of the water. And so hand in hand we would go and "look" at fish. He would wiggle some kind of rattle and some curious fish would swim close to check out the sound and I always found that amusing - the rattle and the fish scene and he would always always turn around to see my eyes crinkling in a smile.

Mr S would always be "rescuing" me in all sorts of seemingly dangerous situations, usually he'll find me huddled behind some rock hiding from a current I found too challenging to swim against and he would hold my hand(aka dragging) and swim against the current to where we were supposed to be, quite effortlessly.
Sometimes he would find something interesting and bring it to me to hold and see up close.

Mr S was also the dive guide who took me to see my first leopard shark, manta ray and whaleshark.
I remember the dive we would see the whaleshark, I had decided to skip. He was the one who cajoled me endlessly to go for the dive because he said I will see a whaleshark and I did.

After ever dive, regardless of whether he is still in the water or above. I would find him next to me taking off my fins so that it would be easier for me to get on the boat. I never had to take off my own fins, so to speak.

There was a most recent occasion in this trip, he saw me surface up and he was already on the boat, nice and dry. He dived in and took my fins off without a second thought. Prompting a male diver to say that he would also like that kind of a service.
In the end, everything he does for me, he'll end up having to do for the other female divers so as not to look preferential.

The only one dive trip I did when I had to do almost everything by myself was in 2008, when I had Mr W as a dive buddy. Mr S did not make any effort to help make my dives easier, except take off my fins after dives.

This year, he asked me where Mr W was and I told him Mr W did not come for this trip and he said "Ok, now you can look after me" and he grinned.
It was quite blatant in 2008 that I was fawning over Mr W the entire time on the boat.

To cut the story short, during this trip, Mr S confessed that he had liked me since 2007 and every year he would look forward to my dive trips.

Hot damn! and I always thought that was great customer service.
This year, he resumed treating me like a) an invalid, b) a child unable to look after itself or c) a princess, whichever way you see it.

We went on Phi Phi Island on one of the nights and we spent some time together walking around hand in hand and ended up at some random pub. We talked and ended up smooching, just before some other divemates showed up *phew*

After we went back to the boat, he suggested that we slept together and I declined. Only after he said just to cuddle each other did I relent.

The last day, just before we left the boat, I felt like my heart would shatter into pieces and fall into the water.
I hugged and kissed him on the cheek and left in a van to a hotel.

I then checked into the room and fell fast asleep.
At around 9.30pm, a call came in and I picked it up groggily, I heard his voice telling me he was at the lobby waiting for me.
I went down 10 minutes later to see him and some other divemates hanging around.
We then went to the hotel's lounge and had a drinking session.
Sometime in the night, I decided I want this to stop at just being friends because I know I cannot handle another stressful "long" distance relationship.
I abruptly left the party and asked the concierge for my keys, they had lost it. In the end, I had to sign some kind of release document to open the door with a master key only to find that I need a key tag in order for the electricity to run. It took 15 minutes for me just to have my room back to normal.
A call came in and it was Mr S asking if I was going to sleep and I said Yes and when he asked if he could come up, I told him not to.

This morning, I took an early flight back to Singapore.

Isreali Troops Battle Hamas As Gaza War Toll Mounts

2009-01-04T09:28:00.000-08:00

Isreali Troops Battle Hamas As Gaza War Toll Mounts

In the bible(and in the Quran), there was a Jewish boy David(who later became a great King) who overcame a giant by the name of Goliath, who was of Philistine descend.

Historically, David represented Israel a country small and what appeared to be weak and was oft then not, bullied by the 5 states of Philistine(now Palestine).

Palestine used to control a huge part of what is now Israel. Until "David" overcame Goliath and took over Israel. The Palestinians were then ousted to a thin strip of land located south of Israel.

The Palestinians have never gotten over the fact that they lost their territory, hence they have been trying their best to get back what they think belong to them.

Everyone has the right to defend their country.
In Islam, this is termed as "Jihad".
A war to defend their country which they regarded as sacred and holy, hence "Holy war".

Israel has the right to defend their country, they wrestled from Palestine many many moons ago.
It is only normal to expect the Palestinians to always want to grab back that land.
And it is only right Israel defend what they have long regarded as home.
BUT it is not right, to take that "defending" across the borders.

An outright attempt at occupation is not defending anymore.

David has grown up to be as big and cruel as Goliath.

Doodle-loo

2009-01-04T07:39:00.000-08:00

PHUKET 2009

In approximately 6 days, I'll be flying to Phuket yet again for a dive trip at Hin Daeng and Hin Muang.

Don't know where that is? That makes 2 of us.

I am just going because I badly need a break.
Either I take a break now or break someone's neck later.
The former sounds a tat bit more legit.

6 days away from work and Singapore should bring me back a happier person(I hope).

And then come 21st, I finally turn 30.
Strangely, I don't feel sad or depressed because maybe I am already sad and depressed to begin with.
And besides, I think I am secretly glad to leave an age period I consider the darkest point of my life.

So yes, I haven't thought of the bad side of finally leaving my 20's to join people I considered old, during my days.

I remember when my eldest cousin turned 30. My brother called him and laughed in his ear before slamming the phone down, much to our giggling.
When my brother turned 30 the following year, my eldest cousin did the same thing to him and one other cousin of ours.

And so it began a strange but hilarious tradition to give people who turned 30 a call, just to laugh in their ears.

I myself, has done it to at least 2 people.
So I am expecting them to call me and do the same *braces myself*.
==========================
MW + Timex Watch = Happy Me

Today was a happy day for me.
MW came to see me for lunch and coffee.
I gave him his present(s).
The parcel containing the Timex watch took him all of 10 minutes to open.
By the second wrapping paper, he sort of realized it was going to take awhile to open the gift.
Once he got to the last wrapping paper, he was quite jubilated and then realized the box was glued shut with alot of duct tape.
In the end, he had to use his car keys to pry open and completely destroy the cardboard box, only to reveal another box but that was quite easy to open.

At first I was a tat bit sad because before I gave him his Timex watch, I saw that he was blinging a Frank Mueller.
That sort of upset me because I thought he would not think much of a mere Timex.
But he liked the Timex and took off the Frank Mueller(I was hoping against all hope, he would hand me it but drats! He did not!!) and wore the Timex.
That was very nice of him.

He looked quite nicely with the new watch and I was proud of my good taste. =:oD
========================================
Heartburn

Early this morning around 4am, I was awakened by a horrible pain in my upper abdomen.

At first I thought:Oh Crap...It's pay-back time for all the alcohol, cigarettes and bullshit I have been ingesting for the longest time...I am about to die of a heart attack!

Later on, while wriggling around in agony, it struck me that I might be suffering from a bout of "Heartburn"

I hobbled to my laptop and found through the internet that "sleeping upright will lessen the discomfort of heartburn".

I heeded the advice and by 7am, I was fast asleep. Heartburn cured!

The Internet...a Life Saver!

Hello 2009, Good Riddence 2008

2008-12-31T10:27:00.000-08:00

Met the cousins (Adam and Pam) at Zouk with Dash.

It was so nice to see them all at one place and for New Year countdown.

I am glad I saw my cousins. You know it's strange how as we grow older, we become so much more chummier.

I thought I was not going out for the New Year's. Well, I guess this year, there will be alot of "I thought"s to come.

I made a decision last night to make a clean break. Anyone and everyone who has read this blog will know, I was living 2008 90% miserable.
This year, I made a decision to not be miserable anymore.
Whatever reason, whatever lie. I gave. Just to end my misery.

Amazing how you thought a person who love you so much and vice versa can cause you so much grief. And the best part is, give grief unintentionally.

I don't care about your situation. I don't care if you are married. The fact is - I was miserable. It's not your fault. You did not ask to be put into such a predicament but all I am saying is, a large part of it is my life and my say and now I am saying I am making a conscientious effort to stop feeling sad.

Another thing.
I strongly feel i should record.
It is wrong to get other peoples' past involved just so you can "validate" a lecture.
It is even more wrong when that so-called validation is untrue.

You know your time came and long gone. Let the young people be. As long as there is no police come a'knocking at your door. As long as there is no life threatening disease or unwanted pregnancies involved. Let the young people be.

The word "control" is no longer in context.

And as young people. They should be sensible to know what they are doing. And give them the benefit of the doubt. And so far, they have never given you any reason to doubt them.

Were they ever arrested by the court of law? Gone to any doctor to treat some sexually transmitted disease?

No. Not that we know of.

And even if they did, let me tell you. You will be the last to know because they know if they told you, they rather go through the 18 levels of hell then even think about saying anything to you.

And for the record. At least have the decency to validate using the truth.
All these lies, these young people, they know to differentiate.
These are not kids anymore. Kids you can order around and threaten with a cane.
These are grown up human beings with individual thoughts and actions. So when you talk, you better make sure you are talking sense.

And the next time, you feel the need to talk about me. Make sure I am there when you do so.
So that in any case, if you speak lies. I can be around to defend myself.

And did I fail to mention that your time has come and gone?
Let the young people live their lives and stop hindering their progress.
Least they end up growing old to become anal retentive adults like yourselves.

Happy new Year!

Sunny - Boney M (1976)

2008-12-27T08:29:00.000-08:00

Sunny - Boney M.

Handbag Music Definition

Handbag Music: Named after the groups of girls who danced around their handbags in the clubs of Northern England. Handbag is heavily influenced by the disco of the seventies and is up-tempo, commercial house music with a cheesy but happy feel to it. Handbag also features squealy, happy vocal samples.

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009

2008-12-21T10:44:00.000-08:00

It is 10 days to the new year.

And heres the recap of disastrous 2008

1) Decided to quit my old job of 6 years and take on a complete new role that had its (un)fair share of challenges and obstacles. All in all, I am grateful for this new opportunity which still needs mighty load of fine tuning but I am getting there.

2) Did 2 dive trips in Thailand and Bali. Not bad, 2 out of the 3 targeted dive trips I had planned for the year. Got my PSP and camera stolen from my check-in baggage in Bali. Shit happens.

3) Still with the old coot. We had some ups and alot of downs. Still learning about each other.

I suppose my work and personal relationship took center stage in 2008. While everything else was calm and settled, these two departments in my life were suffering tremendous upheavals.

Then again, they always say what does not kill you, makes you stronger.
Everything that happens, happens for a reason.
Perhaps to teach us lessons in life.

As I look back, work-wise, the lessons I learnt was never to back down under duress or pressure.
No matter how tough the going is, only the weak surrender.
The work life is just like that. As they always say, it is a dog eat dog world.

Personal relationship wise, this is more tricky.
I was taught this year, to be open minded. There are certain things in life, we always thought we had a model answer for. A perfect reaction. But it is never so. Life in itself is unknown.
We cannot be fully confident of ourselves, much less other people.
I have also learnt that to be happy and satisfied, sometimes its best we expect less and give more.

It has been a trying year for me and I have never felt so glad to see the year end.

Goodbye 2008, hello 2009.

The Weekend

2008-12-15T06:46:00.001-08:00

How strange what alcohol does to a person...

Attended some Christmas/Year-end company party. Had a couple of drinks with the workmates and one Director got a tat bit buzzed and became THE most comical character ever known to mankind.

He was sprouting so much gunk, we were laughing our guts out.

Sigh...it was fun to let loose after so much shit we were/still are going through.

===============================
Been feeling quite depressed lately.
What with all the work that gets piled on day in and day out.
Its sad that sometimes, we lose ourselves.

Human being, we tend to become extreme.
Either we lose ourselves so much so we get disconcerted and stay away from work or we lose ourselves by burying ourselves IN work.

Immigration is "High risk". Some of us may get axed. Not due to the financial BS that the world is going through but the fact that some of us don't seem to be putting in much or any effort.

Today I was the only one around holding the fort.
I feel very tired trying to hold up the sky.
Thank god(sincerely) I have a Boss who understands what I am going through and who can see I am trying to fix things the best I can.

I just hope we don't lose people just because.

1) we are already under staffed as it is

2) losing a job at this point of time is not going to be a walk in the park

I don't wish to see my colleagues whom I regard as close confidantes become jobless now.

But you know, Chris is right. I can't save the world. There are some people sure to be missed...

And that is sad.

Quarantine

2008-12-07T23:34:00.000-08:00

Think "Blair Witch Project" meets "I am Legend".

One of those movies, you watch when you have absofuckinglutely nothing to do on a Saturday night but to scare yourself shitless with bland storyline, predictable yet scary on the dot action.

=======================
SUMMARY

Let me try to do this in less than 50 words.

Journalist and Cameraman join Fire Department in a presumable normal emergency call.

Enters building to see a couple of residence milling at the reception.

Enters an apartment and see zombified old woman.
Old woman attacks, gets shot.

Kills 1 Fireman.
Fireman becomes zombie.

Resident Vet discovers virus to be a strain of rabies.
Everyone either gets eaten or becomes zombie.

The End.

(60 words)

Battle for Mumbai ends, death toll rises to 195

2008-11-29T10:27:00.000-08:00

Battle for Mumbai ends, death toll rises to 195

The world has gone mad.
And even when it is happening in another country, we feel it hit damn close to home because we lost one of our citizens in the massacre.

With all our human advancement and technology, you'd think life becomes more sturdy.
But no, you can still be "here today and gone tomorrow".
Just like that.
You don't even need to go to war now a days, to die of a gunshot wound or two. You just need to walk out in the streets to do your everyday routine and then one day it just happens.

It is a jolt to us Singaporeans especially.
We lost the first Singaporean in such a situation and it is not funny.
It does not matter if you knew her personally because now you do.

And it is a wake up call, it is.
That it can happen in Singapore if we are not careful.

If you are a Singapore passport holder, you will realize how privileged you are.
In times of trouble overseas, the first few countries to reach out to their citizens first includes Singapore.

But tragically we could not reach out to one this time and it feels really helpless and defeating.

The human life is not to be thrown away into the wind like this. This is not right.
Whatever you believe in. Deep in your hearts you know, this is not right.

From a distance you look like my friend,
even though we are at war.
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
what all this fighting is for.
God is watching us, from a distance.

Can't Help Myself - The Four Tops (1965)

2008-11-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

(Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) I Cant Help Myself - 4 Tops

Yes, in a classic motown mood if you are wondering.

My Girl - Temptations (1965)

2008-11-28T10:57:00.000-08:00

My Girl - Temptations

Pump Up The Jam - Technotronics (1989)

2008-11-27T07:35:00.000-08:00

Pump Up The Jump - Technotronic

Before this became "retro", it was actually a "new" song during my time.

I Don't Love You - My Chemical Romance (2007)

2008-11-24T07:10:00.000-08:00

I Dont Love You - My Chemical Romance

Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
Is where you oughta stay

And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow

So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well come on, come on

When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday

Typical Questions I would love to answer...honestly

2008-11-23T04:50:00.000-08:00

Why do you take so long to get your driving license?"

- Try working 14 hours on a daily basis, coming out of the office with energy left only to take you home to hobble onto your bed to sleep, you piece of free loading house wife!

So when are you going to get married?

- When are you going to die? I heard these event planners charge cheaper if we order 2 packages.

Can you help me to

- No, you useless piece of moldy bread. Solve your own problems. What do I look like to you? Someone from "The Little Sister Of the Poor"? Why don't you give me 3/4 of your salary and then maybe I'd consider helping your sorry ass out of the work THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO!!!

Knocking on the door to ask me about something

- What do you want? alms?

Can I ask you something?

- You just did and the answer is "no"

Suburbia - Pet Shop Boys(1986)

2008-11-21T08:47:00.000-08:00

Suburbia - Pet Shop Boys

Long before there was music made for the gay community, there was music made BY the gay community such as the likes of Pet Shop Boys, Erasure and The Communards.

U Got 2 Let The Music - Cappella (1993)

2008-11-21T08:37:00.000-08:00

U Got 2 Let the Music - Cappella

Think the now dyfunc Fire Disco.
OMG...

Why?

2008-11-21T07:03:00.000-08:00

You know...take this as gospel, all you clueless men milling around the face of this earth.

If you want to hook up with a girl.

The first thing you should remember is to try not to be irritating.

There are many ways to be irritating but the one that takes the cake is "Trying to be funny and/or witty when you are obviously not".

You know everyday you wake up, you take a good look at yourself and you ask these few questions.

1) Do I have a very good grasp of the English language that would enable me to be witty in that medium?
- If yes, proceed to question 2
- If no, admit it and try not to be irritating for that particular day

2) Was I born to be witty and humorous?
- If yes, by all means be the next Jim Carrey or Robin Williams
- If no, admit it and try not to be irritating for that particular day

When anyone gives you the time of day, they are not expecting you to provide an impromptu entertainment show.
And besides only the cast of "Whose Line Is It, Anyway?" can do that.
So lets be realistic.

The more you try to be someone you are not and hopefully impress anyone. The more that plan backfires.

I know it is daunting sometimes to speak with someone older and more refined but really, you hope to God that someone is matured enough to understand that you have not reached that level and cut you some slack and you know what? Most of the time, they do.

The only unforgiveable behavior is to be a poser.

You will grow up in time to come, so CHILL~!!

No one is judging you but yourself.

Goodbye is Just Another Word - Lobo (1973)

2008-11-18T08:37:00.000-08:00

Goodbye Is Just Another Word - Lobo

If the time should ever come
That you feel our race is run
And you're old brass bed's the only
thing that we share
If you think our ships come in
Let's just break it off my friend
Cause nothings worse than playing like you care.

There's nothing that's so final about leaving
Even though I know that's what you've heard
Just like forgive, forget and try again
Goodbye is just another word.

If you feel the time is right
And you sneak off in the night
And live out all those stories in your head
When your shiny knight goes home
And you're left there all alone
And you need a friend remember what I said

Town councils say investments needed to offset inflation, keep sinking fund going

2008-11-18T08:22:00.000-08:00

Town councils say investments needed to offset inflation, keep sinking fund going
By Dominique Loh, Channerl NewsAsia | Posted: 18 November 2008 2120 hrs

Didn't work out now did it?

Inquest: Contaminated air found in scuba accident victim's tank

2008-11-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Inquest: Contaminated air found in scuba accident victim's tank

What is an "open verdict"?

-a verdict of a coroner’s jury affirming that a suspicious death has occurred but not specifying the cause. - Askoxford.com

So is this a way of saying the Dive Center should be allowed to walk scot-free for a death, they are obviously in total responsible for?

What kind of a message is the Court of Law sending out to the various Scuba Dive Centers in Singapore?

That it is all right to lose a student's life or two by just saying we did everything "according to the books" but you know, accidents, they happen?

No.

You cannot allow that to happen.

True, accidents they do happen but not in such a scenario.

Just because you could not define the cause of death, therefore the people responsible are allowed to continue their errant ways?

Then why summon people who beat red lights? Who get done for drunken driving?
No one was harmed during the course of the offenders flouting the law.

The concept is to fine these group of people, to put fear in their hearts and be more responsible for their actions.

And I think the concept should be implemented in this case.

The Instructor in question, admitted to filling up the tanks himself but he did it "according to the books".
All BUT one tank(which the ill-fated diver used) contained excessive carbon monoxide.
OK perhaps that can be deemed as an "accident".

But how can you lose a student during the Scuba Diving Open Water Course?
If the diver had inhaled poisonous gases and was brought up to the boat, he could have been saved.
So you know, the cause of death is no longer in question.
Criminal negligence.
As simple as that.

There were 5 students to one Instructor.
No assistant Dive Master was mentioned to have assisted the course.
The only mention of a "colleague" is a lady on board the boat.
Nothing was mentioned about her actually in the water assisting the Instructor.

She saw the diver ascend a distance away(again no mention of even an approximate distance - but we can but roughly estimate it to be above 25 m away because the rope that the life buoy she threw to him was too short).

She also signaled to him to "put on his regulator piece in his mouth and to inflate his Buoyancy Compensator Device(BCD)".

Now I may not be a professional scuba diver but I have dived for 3 years and have seen alot of orthodox and sometimes not so orthodox hand signals used commonly during scuba diving expeditions.
During course trainings, we are compulsorily taught technical hand signals BUT I have never come across hand signals on how to "put my regulator piece in my mouth" or "Please inflate your BCD".
So someone reading this, if you do know what those signals are, kindly enlighten me because I think those crucial signals I may have stupidly missed out during my scuba diving lessons.

What was this lady's role on the boat that fateful day?
Was she assisting the dive?

If this sounds like I am fully blaming the dive center for the cause of death.

Yes, I am because this is not an accident, this is a blatant act of negligence.

After "signaling" the poor boy and throwing the life buoy to him and failing miserably on both actions. What happened?

The boy drifted away and sank into the water, never to be seen alive again.

Why did the lady who saw all these allow the boy to sink in and do nothing to save him?
Was she a trained personnnel?
She should have at least been a Rescue Diver to be assisting the dive.
Otherwise, she should not be assisting at all.
Because she would not have been qualified to do so.
And if she was not assisting the dive...
Then who was?

I am sure there should have been at least one other qualified personnel there assisting, otherwise there is a flout in the scuba diving regulation.

And I think, these people SHOULD be punished for this negligence that caused the death of a student diver.

Pulau Hantu is a treacherous water body with strong currents and almost no visibility at all due to the reclamation works that Singapore has been doing for many years.

People who go there to dive come back with many negative comments.

Now I am not saying there should not be any diving there at all.
There should but only experienced divers should even think of venturing there.

The standard practice is - if the conditions is not suitable for diving, simple - abort the dive and live another day.

When you go for diving trips, the experience boatmen and dive guides will decide if there should be any diving at that particular spot if at all and if not, they won't force it, they go to another spot. And they explain and we agree.
No one will stand up with guts and insist they dive because the dive guides, they know best.

Same goes for the Instructors, if they decide no diving today because the condition is bad. The students agree hook, bait and rod.
They know no better and it is shameful and disgraceful to force the divers to go into unsuitable dive conditions just because money will be wasted on the rental of the boat.

It is plain disgraceful.

And now that a life has been lost, no amount of money wasted can justify the dive centers rash actions.

Run To Me - The Bee Gees (1972)

2008-11-16T07:53:00.000-08:00

Run To Me - Bee Gees

If ever you got rain in your heart,
someone has hurt you, and torn you apart,
am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me?

And let it be like they said it would be -
me loving you girl, and you loving me.
Am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me?

Run to me whenever you're lonely. (to love me)
Run to me if you need a shoulder
Now and then, you need someone older,
so darling, you run to me.

And when you're out in the cold,
no one beside you, and no one to hold,
am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me?

And when you've got nothing to lose,
nothing to pay for, nothing to choose,
am I unwise to open up your eyes to love me

Run to me whenever you're lonely. (to love me)
Run to me if you need a shoulder
Now and then you need someone older,
so darling, you run to me.

I Started A Joke - The Bee Gees (1968)

2008-11-13T10:22:00.000-08:00

I Started A Joke - Bee Gees

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
But I didn't see that the joke was on me, oh no.

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

Till I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was on me.

I looked at the skies, running my hands over my eyes,
And I fell out of bed, hurting my head from things that I'd said.

till I finally died, which started the whole world living,
Oh, if I'd only seen that the joke was one me...

Teenaged Dirt Bag - Wheetus (2000)

2008-11-12T06:14:00.000-08:00

Teenage Dirt Bag - Wheatus

"Teenage Dirtbag"

Her name is Noel
I have a dream about her
She rings my bell
I got gym class in half an hour
Oh how she rocks
In Keds and tube socks
But she doesn't know who I am
And she doesn't give a damn about me

Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me

Her boyfriend's a dick
And he brings a gun to school
And he'd sI'mply kick
My ass if he knew the truth
He lives on my block
And he drives an Iroc
But he doesn't know who I am
And he doesn't give a damn about me

Cause I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Yeah I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby
Listen to Iron Maiden baby with me

Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin

Man I feel like mold
It's prom night and I am lonely
Low and behold
She's walking over to me
This must be fake
My lip starts to shake
How does she know who I am
And why does she give a damn about

I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden baby
Come with me Friday, don't say maybe
I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby like you

Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin
Yeeah dirtbag, no she doesn't know what she's missin

Oh L'Amour - Erasure (1986)

2008-11-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

Oh LAmour - Erasure

Oh L'Amour
Broke my heart
Now I'm aching for you
Mon amour
What's a boy in love
Supposed to do

Looking for you
You were looking for me
Always reaching for you
You were too blind to see
Oh love of my heart
Why leave me alone
I'm falling apart
No good on my own

Oh L'Amour
Broke my heart
Now I'm aching for you
Mon amour
What's a boy in love
Supposed to do

Why throw it away
Why walk out on me
I just live for the day
For the way it should be
There once was a time
Had you here by my side
You said I wasn't your kind
Only here for the ride

Oh L'Amour
Broke my heart
Now I'm aching for you
Mon amour
What's a boy in love
Supposed to do

No emotional ties
You don't remember my name
I lay down and die
I'm only to blame
Oh love of my heart
It's up to you now
You've tore me apart
I hurt inside-out

Oh L'Amour
Broke my heart
Now I'm aching for you
Mon amour
What's a boy in love
Supposed to do

Oh L'Amour
Broke my heart
Now I'm aching for you
Mon amour
What's a boy in love
Supposed to do

Oh L'Amour
Broke my heart
Now I'm aching for you
Mon amour
What's a boy in love
Supposed to do

The Answer is Blowing in the Wind

2008-11-11T06:39:00.000-08:00

INDONESIA ON ALERT AFTER EXECUTION OF BALI BOMBERS

Now I am not saying that I am in full support of killing people just because you are disgruntled or because of religion or whatever.

In fact, I am totally against mindless killing or harming people in anyway for any reason what so ever.

That being said, I also disagree in the punishment meted out to the Bombers.
Two wrongs do not make one right.
In fact, it actually makes things worst than ever before.

This won't stop other extremists from harming more people. In fact, this will actually cause them to feel even more dissatisfied.

Not that they should go unpunished.
They should.
But who are we to determine whether they live or otherwise.
We are not God.

These people, they think they are doing this for God. Let them.
In the end, only God can judge us.

Why don't we break this vicious cycle of revenge by forgiveness.
Forgive these people for they know not any better.
If you think about it, they don't.
If people can think that God actually condones harmful acts against others. Others whom we are taught are in the likeness of God himself.
Then really only clueless are these.

I say, kill them not with violence but with kindness.
For as long as we do not retaliate, they will soon realize that nothing good will come out of these cruel acts.

There are instigators behind these ignorant victims of bad influence.
And these instigators just want to create chaos and animosity in society.

Religion is not the culprit. This is the obnoxious side of mankind.
To lie and put people who respect you in danger just because you want to see your desires attained.

Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died? - Bob Dylan (1962)

Attica - 071108

2008-11-08T00:25:00.000-08:00

The downside of having fun and sleeping only at the crack of dawn is that you will feel and look like death has come upon you the following day.
*moans and groans*

Photos will be uploaded on facebook shortly by a best friend I will rob(of any kind of storage and recording device) and kill(so she won't talk), should I ever run for presidency...

She has too much shit on me, its not funny.

Miracle Of Love - Eurythmics (1986)

2008-11-06T09:39:00.000-08:00

How many sorrows
Do you try to hide,
In a world of illusions
That's covering your mind?
I'll show you something good
Oh I'll show you something good.
When you open your mind
You'll discover the sign
That there's something
You're longing to find...

The miracle of love
Will take away your pain
When the miracle of love
Comes your way again.

Cruel is the night
That covers up your fears.
Tender is the one
Who wipes away your tears.
There must be a bitter breeze
To make you sting so viciously-
They say the greatest cowards
Can hurt the most ferociously.
But I'll show you something good
Oh I'll show you something good.
If you open your heart
You can make a new start
When your crumbling world falls apart.

2008-11-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

I hate this feeling of "forlorn".

Why can't I just rest for abit before going into this sort of depression.

The constant feeling of unsure.
The constant wondering.
The constant always on my mind.

The Coffin - Movie Spoiler

2008-11-01T06:52:00.000-07:00

Story based on the experiences of 2 separate individuals who participated in the coffin ritual.

Karen Mok plays Sue. A participant from Hong Kong hoping to rid herself of cancer after the ritual.

Ananda Everingham(That "Shutters" guy) plays Chris, hoping to cure his girlfriend Mariko from coma.

After the ritual, Sue gets involved in an accident and is in the hospital. While there, she discovers that her lungs have been miraculously cured of cancer.

After the stint in hospital, she moves in temporarily with her friend. On the first day, she wakes up from a short nap to discover that her fiance, she left abruptly to go to Thailand just before their wedding, is at her bedside. She gets a call from a relative in Hong Kong telling her that her fiance had passed away in an accident.
She gets a little confused and goes out of the room to speak to her friend. Her friend had just got off the phone and confirms to her that her fiance had indeed passed away.

Sue then tells her friend, her fiance was right with her in the room.
Her friend can't see him but Sue could.

After that, Sue continues to encounter apparitions of her dead fiance. Who keeps on trying to physically pin her down.
Her friend takes her to consult an expert in "paranormal experience" after the coffin ritual.
The expert tells her that because she had disrupted the wheel of "fate", the bad karma that left her through the ritual, did not disappear, it just transferred itself to the person that she loved.

Mariko also miraculously wakes up from her coma.
However, shortly after, Chris and Mariko constantly encounter a ghostly appearance of a lady carrying an infant.
Chris will also have repeated dreams of this lady walking up a hill towards a temple.
He manages to track the location of the temple and goes there.
He meets an undertaker here after having an almost fatal accident.
The undertaker, after listening to his strange story, leads him to a grave site of a mother and infant of whose bodies just refused to incinerate. He therefore, buried them instead.

The Undertaker then tells Chris to go back into a coffin to "reverse" the wheel of fate and put it right.

When he goes in, he finally realizes that the lady ghost and phantom infant was actually his ex-girlfriend who left him suddenly because she was pregnant with someone else's child.
He had apparently loved her very much. When he did the ritual for Mariko(his new girlfriend), he had passed on the bad karma to his beloved ex-girlfriend, causing the untimely death of baby and herself.

He finally apologizes and appeased his dead girlfriend who got a closure and goes off.

Shortly after, Mariko lapsed into a coma and died.

His story is actually a relation to Sue.

From this time on, we realize that Chris's story had actually happened 5 years ago from the time Sue experienced hers.

The expert takes Sue to Chris and he advices her to go back into the coffin.

When she does go back into the coffin. She encounters her dead fiance again.

Fearful that he was going to hurt her, she struggles from him and when she finally relents and relaxes, she realizes the only reason why he keeps pining her down is because he just wanted to hug her.

When she comes out of the coffin, Sue's lung cancer returns and she too dies shortly.

========================================
Horror movies usually start off with rather bland beginnings, plots only deepening as the story is related.

The Coffin, however, does a reversal.

The movie starts off rather strong and then slowly but surely deteriorates.
The plot actually weakens in a blaring blatant manner.

Poor script writing contributed to the already dying storyline.
At a few points, my friend and I were huddled, not because we were scared stiff but because we were trying to stifle our giggles at the ridiculous dialogs that go on between the actors.

Weak, half hearted acting was also not helping the movie at all.
The actors look like they were not even relating very well with their individual characters.
They looked very amateur and lack lustre.

Even our local Singapore channel 8 actors would have done a better job.

Perhaps the fact that everyone in the cinema expected a full fledge horror flick made in Thailand(complete with actors actually speaking in Thai) also contributed to the disappointment.

We all know how good the Thais are in creating spooky horror flicks.

The Coffin, instantly quelled this idea manifested in our minds.

My friend and I concluded that The Coffin would be a damn good movie to rent and view at home.
Where we can openly guffaw and snigger without disturbing other people.